Getting through life

      Living through a life of miscalculations, is one of the most challenging thing you may have to do in order to exist in our society as it is today.  I sometimes wonder if it is all real or just bad dream that I haven't woken up from yet.  With the way that things keep changing it is no wonder we manage to keep our sanity it all.  In the past 3 years I have overcome a broken arm while going through a pandemic that sprang up and caused havoc in all of our lives.  We have witnessed such a total loss of life that seems to be hanging on by a thread.  We have all been forced in to a life where we are afraid to be sociable on come in contact of anyone who might be considered a possible threat to our health.   This fear has brought out a lot of ill feelings in one way or another.  But we all have had to manage to co-exist once again.  The fear is still there but no longer and overshadowing issue as before. 

      Our economy is another issue in itself with less and less supplies to go around due to lack of  being able to keep up with the growing need of various items to help us get through our lives in fashion that we have become accustomed to,  whether it be food, materials or our natural resources. Which have been on a little bit of a tailspin of it's own as of late.  Gas price go up and then drop only to rise again the following month, something we have grown to get used to over the past few years.  But now the other major resources have decided to get in the act of it all.   I really wish can stop playing this game that they have us on and go through normalcy once and for all.  For some of us we will weather the storms as they come, but for those who aren't able to bounce back as fast or at all I truly feel sorry for them.  But that's life as they say.  Kind of a truly callous thing say in itself but it is what it is until someone can figure a way out of it. 

      I know my time is running out little by little but no one knows for sure when their time has come or not, only the hope of being just a little bit longer to accomplish one more task whatever that may be, but I know it is only a matter of time in which I hope to spend loving my immediate family but mostly my daughter in whom I worry about the most.  Not because she will not be able to take care of herself but mainly cause I have loved her my whole life and would really miss being unable to be there for her in whatever she may need for, even if it's just to make here laugh to ease her pain or get through a bad moment in her life. 

      So with all that matters to me in my life and the stuff that you may cling to just remember that our loved ones were given to us as a gift in which we should cherish with our whole heart for however long it is possible to do so.  I know that it might not be possible for some of you because of distance or availability to do so but communicate with them by whatever means you have.   Just to let them know that you care enough to say what they mean to you as well.   I'll ends this by saying that a really am grateful for my daughter and the joy she brings to my heart because without her my time would have already come after the loss of my son in whom I truly miss for theses past few years especially but in all for a total of 14 years coming up in April.  Love you Mijo you don't know how much I am truly sorry that I wasn't able to be more there for you.  You are truly missed and this household is not the same without you in it. 

       With regards to my life I can only hope that I will be around long enough to be there for my daughter without become to much of a burden it the process.  Love you Mija for all the exasperating times we have been in from one heated discussion to another,  but through it all I have never stopped realizing how special you have made my life just having out little outings from time to time.  So with this I have to acknowledge I have truly enjoyed it all especially our fun shopping trips in whatever store we end up in. So thank you for being in my life I have never regretted you in my life.  

2014 The Year Begins

      Well the year begins with a promise of a better year.  Last year ended expensive car repairs in hopes of either putting off major repairs or that the repairs done will solve the problem altogether.  Well as the month wore on and the car did appear to be doing okay. I was grateful for that one less thing to worry about. 

       Work has been another thing entirely different cause of the inability to work where I want cause of lack of jobs available and work days due to a diminishing schedule. So until then I have made my new home working at the SSA Central Gate Tower. 

       February brought with it some bad news when my car broke down on the way home and had me thinking the problem was back.  So after calling the dealer to find out what was going on and making an appointment to get it serviced.  Luckily it was only a sensor that was causing the problems unfortunately it was still a costly repair. 

       Well even with it being a short month there were times where it dragged because of all the let downs but still it move on like a breeze and here it is already going to be March.  Finally have gotten all my prescriptions filled and ready to plot out another week of my life as a pill popper. 

        I can only hope that things will get better in the coming months.  Grateful for the prosperity I have at the moment but hanging onto that until I know for sure our Union will not be going on strike in July but only time will tell.  I guess this is all for now on this blog.   
        

My Stay at Chez Kaiser

      I can't believe I started to write this back in August and only got as far as the Title.  I must of gotten side tracked or just plain forgot that I started it and out of site out of mind syndrome occurred. So here I am having to recollect that stay all the way in December.  

      I remember having problems breathing that day and my chest being a little tight.  Told my daughter and then waited for them to pick me up to get me checked out. After a long wait in the emergency I was finally admitted into the hospital to run some test.  Although my stay there was brief I was given a semi-clean bill of health my heart was fine but further testing in the future was in the cards. 

      Well after being released I had to start the process of getting re-acquainted with Doctors and the dreaded taking of pills on a regular basis. So first off was the General Practitioner who then had me set up a stress test and then a follow up visit afterwards. 

      So after a month and half of doctor visits I have fallen back into my old habits or should I say just lack of interest in seeing the doctor.  I am still taking the pills on a regular schedule when I remember, I do have those brief moments of memory lost or just plain forgetful. 

       I am grateful for the chance to be able to be out and about again.  So here I am taking it once again one day at a time until the next setback happens hopefully not for a long time.  

What Happened to July

      I can't believe that I can just remember taking the week off for my birthday week and then in a blink of an eye it was all in the past.  It flew by so fast I think I slept all the way through the month of July.  Well let see if I can remember enough to give a brief update.  " Don't laugh Mija" .  I will try to be brief then.

     Anyway as you know the month of July soured by like you wouldn't believe partly because I worked so much which seemed to make everything just fly by. The weeks came and went without like a blur,  I mean I was grateful to be working so much but I also knew it would be taking it toll on my body and towards the end of the month it was beginning to show.
 
      The tiredness was beginning to be more apparent and dealing with all the headaches, cramps and just all around sleepiness from lack of sleeping at night anymore.  I have gotten really tired of readjusting my mask and still not being able to sleep through the night.  The need to get moving on setting up an new sleep study and new machine.         Finally August has arrived and I can now take a 3 day weekend and try to catch up on some rest.  

My Birthday Vacation Week

     Well it is that time of the year that I usually take time off only because I don't like being around work when my birthday rolls around.  So use it to relax and play catch up with my shows but unfortunately that is already been done.  I  really should be going through stuff to go out or just organizing stuff as I go.  But I am a classic procrastinator and there is a lot of things I should of done, at least the most pressing.  Motivation is the key here or should I say the lack of motivation. 

       So my week started on a down note I am sad to say woke up with a headache that left me tired and listless most of the day.  I mean I barely managed to get some things done, but I was able to go into the garage and cut up some more boxes to be thrown into the blue recycle can to taken out to the curb for a Fri. pickup. That in itself was an accomplishment on it's own I have now filled 3 cans full of cardboard and Styrofoam so that plus all the aluminum cans and bottles that Eileen picked up to take to recycle center. Plus 3 loads of laundry which should of been 4 but once again I bypassed one of my hampers. 

        Thursday was going to be a meeting night but I had other things planned to do before the meeting.  But unfortunately because of the constant headaches and laziness I didn't get out of the house in time to get some of those things done. I was able to make it time to pickup my new work shoes and still find a decent enough parking for the meeting. Even as slow as the day seem to crawling by it did still manage to go be quick enough cause before I knew it I was waking up and it was now Friday.

        I wish I could say that Friday started a little different but unfortunately 

it seem to be the worst of the days cause I could do nothing but lay around. Know full well I had some stitching up some shorts.  It was nearly 2 p.m. when I realize that I needed to bring the trash cans back in.  So while watching some shows I fixed 2 pair of shorts I know I have more to stitch up minor tears before they get any bigger. Then just a little more laziness and messing around on the computer which I really have neglected on doing as of late.  

       Saturday was supposed to be a trip to the movies but that got put on hold and maybe just as well due to another sleepless night hopefully I will be able to get more sleep during the day and take care of a few more things. Well I like to day that that is what happened but it did not between stomach and headaches I was either laying down or sitting on the toilet most of the morning.  Only later did everything start to subside so I made the most of it and ate something and come back to working on the computer once again.  

        Sunday is up in the air either it is going to be another daddy daughter day or we will make attempt at watching the next Star Trek movie and then maybe breakfast and shopping with mom tagging along for the Movie maybe breakfast.  I won't know for sure until tomorrow but if it turns out to be just another daughter daddy day then everything will be on the status quo or same ole same ole.  Will have to wait to see how that works out, so only time will tell.    

A Return to the Movie Theater

      It has been a very long time since I ventured out to the movies and this use to be a part of my life I really enjoyed spending with my Josh and Carisa.  An then it all came to a halt cause my Josh was no longer there to share in the experience.  I know this seems a little drastic but for me the joy of going had left me.  I did manage to go one time with my daughter to go see Avatar in 3D  and that too was only because I knew my son would of wanted to see it.  So through my eyes he would be seeing it, and my daughter really wanted to see it too and I figured this would be my first attempt. 

       When I was younger and split up for the first time and living in Sacramento I managed to watch a quite a few movies on my own but that too was a different time in my life and now going is just so hard for me to manage to do.  I feel for my daughter cause all though she too has lost my son in her life  she still feels the need to move forward and enjoy the things she loves doing and for her that was movie going too.  Before my son's passing she would frequently makes trips to the movies with her mom for shows that maybe interested her and her mom as opposed to those that my son would like.

         As a family we would sometimes pick two movies ones that they like and ones that we liked.  The majority of the time the choices made were pretty good or at least tolerable all the members of the family. But alas this is no longer what happens and aside from the one trip to see Avatar I haven't been out there again until this past weekend.  My daughter and her mom have made at least a couple trips to the movies on their own and although I have been asked from time to time I have either declined or have been working on the day that chose to go. 

          So this weekend we finally had a family movie day to see the latest of installments of the Fast And Furious Movies. Afterwards we all went to my daughter and I's favorite restaurant so my ex could finally taste the Greek Omelet and due to a sleepless night she had we witness the full affect of what it looks like to be bobbing for apples without apples being on the menu.  I saw a lot of me in her and now knew what I must look like to people at work on those sleepless nights I tend to have, but all in all it was a pleasant time we spent together.  

           After all that Carisa and I did our usual Sunday routine while her mom struggled to get back home with constant calls to make corrections along the way where she might of gotten turned around.  So after a little shopping we were finally heading back to my house and we finally got the confirmation call that my ex had made it home safely.  Of course after a little silliness of our own we would be heading back to pick up some food and then take Carisa home.  A quick feeding frenzy and then on my way back home to get ready for the week to come. 

Dealer Days and the Possible Mishaps

      I had been working all week long and it was just about that time to take my car in for it's maintenance.  It is hard to believe that I already have 120,000 miles on my car. I know 8 yrs old and at 15,000 avg. per. yr they say I am right on schedule, I guess I was just so used to the avg. being 12,000 per yr but I guess times have changed, and we as drivers tend to drive either farther distances to get places of are just in our vehicles more often.  

       So now I go all prepared to for a long stay at the dealer, that includes my Ipad for movies and simple internet stuff,  my books and kindle for reading material,  and of course my phone for all the other silliness.  So after checking in with my service rep.,  I go find my table occupied by someone so after a quick trip to the restroom I come back and do something I rarely do ask if anyone was sitting at the other chair and did he mind sharing the table. 

       Well being the inquisitive one that I am after about 5 to 8 minutes I inquire about his tablet in which strikes up a big conversation about other gadgets and  stuff which made for a pleasant start to my morning there but after a while his car is ready and yes I did get the table to myself but I now seemed to be more distracted about things going on around me.  I have now been here for over 2 hrs and starting to wonder if they found out anything else new that needed to be taken care of. 

       Finally the my service adviser comes to tell it is all done and waiting for me to go to the cash register and pay and then pick up my car.  So happily I take care of that and then head off back home.  I stop for some food on the way home and then pretty much vegg out the rest of the day.  

       Later that evening I just happen to go outside and notice drips coming from under my car and at first thought it was from the AC but after checking it out found out it that it appeared to be oil from the engine or transmission.  So next day when I was getting ready to leave to pick up my daughter I notice that it still leaking.  Now this is beginning to be a concern to me and come Mon. I called the Dealer back and scheduled to bring it back in on Wed. when I will be off of work. 

       Wednesday comes and I take the car in first thing in the morning and wait and hope that it something they did and not something else that will end up costing a fortune.  Luckily for me all it turned out to be was a cracked washer on the oil pan plug.  So finally I can go home relieved that the problem has been solved and all I need to do is a little light clean up on my driveway. 

My Little Varucca

     Well one week after my phone had it little hiccup we are back out for another daddy daughter day. Early rises has a new meaning when it deals with these days, cause I always wake up early but the actual getting started is what tends to move a slo mo for quite some time.  In part to various reasons numbering from laziness to those little irritating visits from good ole mother nature.  So after all is said and done I am finally leaving out of the house on my way to pick my mija. 

       So this week is no difference than any other one and as I said I am now finally on my way to pick her for breakfast, shopping and then hanging out at my house and either watching a movie or a show that I had recorded on my DVR.   But today would be different cause at one of our stops we decided to take a look at the phones here and see what kind of deal they had to offer.   And to our surprise they had a better deal as in the fact that the tax was only applied to the actual sale price and not the retail price that Best Buy was telling us which dropped the price all the way down to about 450 as opposed to the 545 it would of been at Best Buy. 

       Now the reason we didn't get them last week at Best Buy was the fact that they did not have 2 of them in black and this week when I called they didn't even have 1 in black but a bunch in white.  The Other store well we were in luck they did have them in black.  So I ask my mija what she wanted to do to go back to Best Buy and get there and the Insurance they offered or just stick with the AT& T had.   Well before I could finish that sentence my daughter was looking at me like the now daddy now I want it now.  Kind of remind you of any character in a movie.  Okay so now I have My Little Varucca looking at me with those I will love you forever daddy if you get it now.  What is a father to do  with a smile like that. 

         So now she has been the happy camper messing with her phone that might I say is way better then the I currently own.  Every day I hear say that she found out to do some other new feature in which reminds me that mind can't do that one either.  Oh well I guess I will have to wait at least a few more months to see what new stuff comes out then to upgrade my new dinosaur I carry on my waste.  I am happy that was able to get the software update to make it a better dinosaur but still 2 generations older then hers.

         Well enough said for this one as I have already went far too long as is.  So until the next chapter I bid you a fond adieu. 

The Day the Phone Died

      Last weekend was supposed to be a stress free weekend where I would be able to just kick back and relax.  Well that all began to change on the very first day.  My Ex came back into town to visit with her kids and had asked if I had a camera that I wasn't using,  so if you know me by now that is a silly question cause I have more then enough of stuff cause I tend to upgrade things when the newer better models show up.  So in this case I had 3 digital cameras a small one easy enough to tuck away somewhere which I bought for my car in case of accident, to be able to take pictures of it all. 

      Then I have 2 others a recent purchase for it's 40x zoom plus the higher mega pixels then the other camera. As I had stated in one of my other blogs I had wanted to go with a digital SLR camera  but opted with Automatic one instead like the other one.  So now I have 2 of those and I figured I would let go of one of them go for my Ex to have, but that wasn't the case at all.  She opted for the smaller one because it was easier to carry and keep in her purse.  I had kind of wanted to keep that one for what I said, but with cell phones being with such great cameras in them I really don't need it as much anymore. 

       So Friday begins with a trip to the tire shop to have tires rotated and then off to pick my ex-wife to go to breakfast and talk a little bit.  After breakfast we went and did a little shopping at Target then I dropped her off and then back home to relax the rest of the day well at least that is what I hoped. Alas there was the problem of the dreaded laundry piling up and in need of a great cleansing.  Through it all I was able to do a little catching up of shows but not as much as I had originally planned. 

        Saturday arrives and I get an early morning call about giving my ex a ride to the Little Jesse's T-ball game and then drop her off at a party for one of her nephews kid. I ended up staying at the party for quite a while so another day flew by just like that.  All in all in wasn't such a bad day I got plenty of pictures with both my digital camera and camera from my cell phone.  They turned out pretty good for what I got but every happy story has a downside to it. 

       I decided to update my phone with the new operating system and during the process something happened and it bombed out and my phone went dead or wouldn't boot up again.  So after many hours of trying I gave up for the evening and took my SIM card and put it in my old blackberry phone to have a working phone for the time being. 

       Sunday rolled around and it was time for another daddy daughter day.  So I go to pick her up for our usual breakfast and shopping extravaganza and then after dropping off freezer stuff at my house we headed off to best buy to see if they could do anything about my little problem all the while I am upset cause I may have lost all my data and pictures off the camera. 

       This was turning into a very disappointing time here cause after a couple of attempts the tech has no luck and informs me that it may have to be sent in and refurbished one will be returned to me if mine can't be repaired.  So since we are here we peruse around at the new Galaxy S4's and are looking to purchase but alas they only had the one in black so my little Verruca will have to wait another week for her new phone. 

        After work on Monday I decide to go to AT&T to see if anyone there might be able to assist me in my little dilemma. She informs me that by doing the hard reboot I will more then likely lose all my data and it will reset back to factory settings. After 2 attempts it finally goes through but not reset but updated to the new operating system.  I am still under the impression that my photos and other data is all gone, but to my amazement the photos were still there and with the new system the display was much nicer. 

        So what turned out to be a very painstaking weekend with plenty of ups and downs it was all finally  rectified on Monday.  So now off to learn all the new features to the system and retrieve some of the apps I had lost in the process, but at least I am a happy camper again.

Boys with Toys Part 2

     Sometimes I really wonder what in the world am I thinking, every year new gadgets come out new camera's, phones and tablets.  All just sitting there begging to be bought and sometimes I just can't resist the temptations.  I mean after all I already have two different tablets right now 3 digital cameras a couple of video cameras and that is not even counting my laptop and desktop computer.  But every year they just like to tease me with all the new toys. 

       This year after buying my cell phone they came out with one that was so much better, but then again is that always the way it is anyway.  With the new Source and larger Kindle Fire both have interesting points but if I was going to make the purchase it would probably be the Source cause it seems pretty cool with Windows 8 on it an all.  I have been considering getting a Kindle but just the reader cause I didn't feel the need to buy another tablet.  Well maybe but the jury is not back yet on that ruling.  

       There are other things that I have had my eyes on but being on the limited funds I have to keep it more down to earth.  So getting a new car or new 3D big screen TV with new 3D blu-ray player is out of the question.  But still there is always the hope of new things and if not for me then maybe for the ones I care for.  I settled for getting the new Kindle Paper-white which I have to admit is pretty cool.  But for me unless I end up giving in to the Source I will have learn to sit back and dream for better gadgets from a far.  

       Next up for me will be the shopping project to get my daughter her new phone and get her into the smart phone generation.  So I will have to live through her in her new purchase and be jealous of her new toy, but I love my daughter and this will be like a late birthday present to her and I hope she enjoys it.  So I better cut this off here cause it is getting late and I need to get up early to go to work in the morning.