Time just keeps flying by

      Well the last two weeks has come and gone, I chose to take a job that was on the outside to get some fresh air the last week of February.  For what it was worth it was fun being around the people I like working with most of my old co-workers, friends an acquaintances.  Well as fun as it was in was only for a week cause due to the  scheduling issues of that dock I chose to go else where the first week of March.  Which it really worked out for the best as it was colder and chance or rain was in the air during the week.   Both weeks were short weeks due to different reason I only worked 4 days each week,  the first week cause I was trying to stay low enough in hours to get the job I wanted and well the 2nd week was due to maintenance for my vehicle. 

      I can't believe the year is flying by so fast already two months have come and gone just like that.  I mean it is like I blink and another week goes flying by.  I know I am get older and the time tends to go by faster for some strange reason, but sometimes I wish that it would leave you enough to time to take a step back and smell the coffee as they say or flowers for some. But basically for me I just need time to heal from old wounds and new ones too I guess.  I am learning to enjoy the things in my life a little better now, loving spending time with my daughter to the point of having to hear her voice at least twice per day. Once for my wake up call and at night to say goodnight before going to sleep. Of course the call at night has a two-fold purpose not only to say goodnight but to also ask her sometimes plead my case for her to give me a wake up call. 

         I am really starting to think more about things that I have tried to not look at or choose to ignore cause basically I didn't want to deal with them but I am beginning to feel that I need to get going on some of this stuff now before it is too late to done at all.  Aside from the general cleaning of the house, I also need to start getting my paperwork in order in the event that something happens to me.   And I know I really don't like even talking about this stuff either but I need to deal with it cause I am getting up there now in years and though I am the youngest in my family I may be the one who is the most ill and a lot of that is due to me not wanting to take care of myself.  I know but after so many losses in my life I just gave up and didn't care as much about anything anymore.  Well I hope for the best and that I am allowed to live for a longer period then I feel I am left to hope for.   But as they say only God knows when that time will be. 

         Today is  Friday and I am at the dealers of all things taking care of the needs of my vehicle so that I am able to get to work and back, being able to pick my daughter for our weekly visits and of course let us not forget  Target Tuesdays the two days we look forward to all week long.  All the other  days are just feeler days for me cause that is where the robot or zombie part of me lies doing the same thing day in and day out just going through the motions which is not saying that I am not having fun at work but some days I go there but wish I was home most of the day, but other times the silliness that goes on in the tower jobs and the just hanging out with friends when I get the chance to work at the other facility.  Well anyway back to reality now, I am here for maintenance but also to possible have other things taken care of also with that too.  Those are going to be the more expensive things needed then it comes down to decision time.  Cost and Necessity is the name of the game total bill could reach 700 or more if I get it all taken care of today.   Well looks like I may be making another trip back here tomorrow to have the shocks taken care of cause they have to order them so I will be making a return trip tomorrow but todays will be short and sweet.  Well I think I will cut this one off right here.  But stay tuned to the continuing Adventures of Tony the Tazman cya soon. 

         

Things that make you go hmmm.

       Last Friday night heading home after dropping off something at my daughters house I had to fight traffic  all the way home,  during what is widely called Rush Hour. You ever wonder why they called it that aside everyone trying to rush home.  And the key word here is trying, cause during rush hour everyone is on the road and no one is rushing.  If your lucky that average speed will get to maybe 30 to 35 mph.  It has gone as slow as 20 and as high as 55 until you can break free of the congestion and then all hell breaks loose as ppl try to reach 80 plus.

         It is times like this that I really have to wonder why labeling things the way that they do.   I always laugh when I hear a comic reference the difference with naming things.  Such as Parkway and    Driveway, Parkways are roads cars drive on and Driveways are where they park opposites can be funny when they are applied right.  The world is full of totally nonsense phrases, like he wants his cake and eat it too, I always they thought that ones was silly cause if I get cake I am going to eat it what else am I going to do with it.  Oh an then I have this friend who likes to say this phrase and it bugs the crap out of me.  "There is six in one hand and half a doz. in the other".   I mean what does that mean anyway,  the humor side of it is I have 5 fingers on one hand and half of 10 on the other hand.  I guess it can be interperated many different ways for a lot of different scenarios. 

         I am sure there are plenty of those phrases out there that we may use and some we are quite tired of hearing.  So I am going to continue eating my cake cause it was given to me and until ppl are given extra digits on their hand I will stick with my 5 thank you very much.  

Decisions , Decisions

         Another weekend is rolling in and I am struggling with idea of taking a long weekend off or not.  I know there are reasons why I should and also reason why I don't want to work, but unfortunately the reason to work are more out of necessity and to stay home out of pure laziness.  So here I sit wondering what to do what to do.  It is times like this that I really wish it didn't matter as much but that is not always the case.  Sometimes I just want to relax and not worry about working at all but maybe that is something that has just crept into my life cause I use to love going to work but lately not even close.  Like for example I use to say that if I had won the lottery I would still go to work but now boy has that attitude changes since then. 

          So the day is going by and I still haven't made up my mind yet.  I hate weighing out the pros and cons on things like this cause I always seem to lose out,  but that is not saying I always do the right thing or the best thing.  Cause when it comes down to it sometimes you just need to take a break even when it is not the best time to do it.  Well this weekend is just another one of those I am too tired to work but I need to do it.  So back and forth I go and wondering why this is so hard to do, just need to make up my mind and stick to it.  My boss even suggested for him to put me as coming in and if I change my mind just reap out the job, but even that comes with some hassles of the checking in or squaring off problem.  What to do What to do. 

            Well it is nearing the end of the shift and I have finally resided in coming in tomorrow and maybe even Sat. too to get the next week off to a good start.  Cause of all things concerned need wins  out desire all the time so I will be here the next couple of days to insure there will still be a constant flow of money coming into my acct. for bills, food and of course the fun fun fun shopping trips with my lovely daughter.  Well I guess I will cut this one short as I have been told I tend to write novels instead of essays which are actually too long also.  So until we do this again that is all folks. 

One of Those Days

      Yesterday I have to chalk it up to just one of those days. I  woke up in the morning failing to check the dispatch jobs for the day prior to going to bed.  So in the early morning when I woke up for the day I ended up checking through my phone in a hurry.  Now see this is where my vision comes into play being that since age 40 my sight has been dimminishing over the years.  So needless to say I grab for a pair of glasses through half awake eyes and saw the work for the day and made a quick determination that the jobs I wanted were not on there.  

      Well whether it be my rush to judgement on my part or the inefficiency of our dispatchers in doing their job that ended up costing me my day of work.  But maybe it all worked out for the best.  Yes i did miss a days wages but I was able to take care of a few things including starting the day out with breakfast at my daughters house.  Spending the morning there was nice and although I did need to get going and taking care of some things it was still nice while I was there being that our sunday got cut short.  So after leaving there a quick trip to the pay office to changes my status, not like I would do on let's say Facebook.  Then off I went back home, with a quick trip to the gas station. 

       You ever wonder why it is that our gas price keep going up and down so much, I kind of think it is for their amuzement because anything of a positive nature takes prices forever to drop, but a accident of small contastrophe and oh boy what those rates climb out of this fear that we will be suddenly without any fuel for the comsumer.   Scare tactics to the max is all that is and I think we are all getting sick of it.  But there I go again going off point.   Well it was to my advantage this day as after getting gas I went home and then left the house again to take care of the other dread of my life tax time.  Well anyway after a favorable visit to my taxman I passed by the gas station that I got gas at earlier not even 3 hrs earlier and the price had gone up 2 cents if I had waited until i got off work today it may have been as high as 5 to 10 cents higher.  

         Finally after the days activities I was finally home again relaxing and catching up on some of the shows I recorded on the DVR's.  I was grateful that the whole day was now over and winding down before heading to bed and still found time to look back on the day on what got accomplished.  But still I have to admit I am still a little angry at missing a day of work and on something totally off issue.  I had purchased some bookmarks from Borders a long time ago and I keep seeming to forget where I set them aside.  Being that Borders is no longer out there I am kind of upset that they disappeared like that.  Well anyway life is full of ups and downs and if it wasn't life would be too easy and boring.  So thank you for keeping my life interesting to say the least. 

Music Awards Shows

     As times goes on I have started to really enjoy music awards shows cause they have gotten away more and more from the straight laced announcing the winners.  Each year the performances get better and better with special effects.  I know that music has evolved quite a bit over the years and although I have really appreciated the years passed.  I am really grateful for the ability to be able to sit here and enjoy all the performances. It has given me and even wider range of music to listen to and appreciate each genre more and more.  

      Originally I thought I was going to have to watch them recorded from my DVR but due to change of events the day got cut short with my daughter and allowed me to return home early enough to come home and watch it live.  The day started out pretty much as normally does with the exception that because of a movie I was watching I was delayed in getting in the shower to get the day rolling.  And yes like my daughter said I do have the movie and could of watched it anytime but as we all know somethings you just have to finish.   Sorry Mija  I LOVE YOU TOO. 

      Well although we got to the restaurant and did enjoy the food.  We didn't get our usual waitress which for whatever reason makes the meal more enjoyable.  She was there but we had got seated in another person area so alas we just sat there and ate our food.  Afterwards we went to take care of errands and stuff before having to head back to my mija house.  So we made the most of it the errands brought us some goodies in the form of Suduko, Coloring Books and other useful stuff.   Second stop at Wally World was a mandatory stop for the kitties.  Then finally the last stop gave me the opportunity to get the books I was looking for and restock my gum supply. 

       Unfortunately the day as was said was cut short cause a something happening at the house and my mija needing to get back home to take of things.  Although I stayed there for a little while and enjoyed my brief stay there I left to go home around 7 in order to get there before 8 to set up my DVR's for the night .  I was able to watch the Grammy's live and it was pretty entertaining and I really enjoyed it a lot.  

       Well this is where I will end this one and believe me there  will me many more to come as the days go by. I think I am just getting started here and really starting to enjoy this quite a bit too.  So for now I hope this wasn't too boring of a read  for you.

The Year Begins

       January has come again and this year has brought with it a colder time than we have had in while.  I actually had to break out the electric heater and I am kind of dreading the electric bill when in comes.  So with this being a new year I am looking forward to the healing process to continue, and allow me to do more things that I have yet to do since that day. 

       I know how much my daughter want to go to the movies and I am getting closer to being able to go.  One of the things is needing to get an earlier start to attend the movie first like we use to do.  I miss going to movies as a family and I guess that kind of hinders me in a way.  Well someday I may be able to join the movie goer community but for now I guess it is wait til it comes out on Blu-ray or DVD. 

        Well this month has had it's ups and downs but I mean that temperature wise.  Although the little warm front that comes and goes long enough for us all to thaw off before the next drop in temperature.  Luckily it hasn't dropped down low enough to be unbearable in fact I haven't even turn the heater on since the beginning of the month. Thank you for that cause a warm front and cold back really doesn't help me at all.  Will be glad when I get just go back to my summer weather that allows me to feel more comfortable.  

        Most of the month has been business as usual and now that it is all behind me I can say what I always say where did it all go.  Grateful to be here another month to move on trucking down life's highway. Even if it comes with little hiccups along the way like the trip to the dealer I had today instead of something major it was at some cost but still with in reason.  But an hour & half later I was heading back home or actually to pick up some more cold medicine because yes I am sick again. Boy am I getting tired of this I just wish I could finally have a long enough time being well in between illnesses.   

        Well Here we are in February and I just found out my rent is going up next month.  Not that is anything to worry about cause it is only a fifty dollar increase.  It is something I have actually been dreading for a long time as silly as it seems.  I don't know why I should mind the last time my rent was increased is going on 2 yrs now maybe more I am not really sure.  Anyway I will now have remember to write the new amount on the checks along with remembering to put 2013 being I write so few checks during the year. 

        Now I guess it is time to sign off on this new blog or a sad attempt of a blog but I will learn from practice or just crazy thoughts that I may want to share in the future.  So before this turns into another novel I better quit now.  Later.

Auto Warranties ?

       What can I say about this subject except for thct that it must be some unwritten rule that says that all vehicles will perform above the best of their ability until the warranty expires. Cause this way they can minimize the cost they have to pay out when when your car breaks down.  

       Unfortunately most of us are cars run perfectly until the mileage hits the end of the warranty mileage or year limit.   Then as they say the shit hits the fan and cost start to really pile up, so that it leaves with the big question mark on your face is it time to buy a new car.  

        So you see they time it just right and then they got you coming or going.  I made that mistake the last time and just got another vehicle cause I couldn't see sinking that much money into it to keep it running good.

         I think I am lucky this time around cause most of the heavy stuff actually happened during the warranty on this vehicle as opposed to waiting until it expired.  Could be that I had purchased the extended warranty all the way to 100,000 but alas that I am now passed that mark too.  

        Still my Xterra has ran pretty good and consistently with only minor problems and one that was not really pressing to the continued use of the car.  Just a mild irritation that I have actually learned to live with sadly enough.   So now that I have surpassed that mile stone and on my way to the next hundred thousand.  

        Which brings me to today I am at the dealer today, because of a switch in my car got stuck and is giving a false reading on my dash board.  Although it wasn't pressing enough to rush right in the day I noticed, it was still necessary to have it taken care of in order to prevent damage to the engine in the long run.  

        So here I sit at the dealers with my Ipad in hand all prepared to watch movies while the Xterra is being repaired. Then I realize one thing I forgot my earplugs so that I can listen without disturbing anyone else so here I sit writing another blog.  

        So I hope you found this little banter informative if not amusing enough to keep you on the edge of your seats, just kidding I know I am not that witty of  a person so I will end this now and say adieu

2012: A Hope For Better Things To Come

     I wanted to believe that things would be different this year, but as luck would have it started out pretty much the same.  With the one definite difference,  tax season has become more a hopefulness as opposed to the dreading the dismal outcome.   But I guess the prospect of gain always changes ones outlook on life.  Instead of anticipating how much it is going to cost me I now wait to see how much I might actually get back. 

      I have learned to start to put it all behind me, but there are still those moments where the pain still seeps in and draws the tears out.  They are coming fewer and fewer occurrences of that but still sometimes it comes on with the slightest remembrance from a movie or song.  It is funny how things can spring a world of thoughts that you have keep pinned up inside but I have learned to keep the sadness down to the minimum.  Now I don't whether I should feel guilty for not mourning enough.  I hurt that he is gone but I also know that I can't just stop living although in the beginning that is pretty much all I want to do in my own way. 

     Well there I go again drifting off because it is just so easy to do so.  Life was a little easier to handle this year but it was all in the matter of taking it slow and holding on to the love that I have for daughter to pick me up when I was sad and needed a happy thought to boost me back up.  The year was my first time I have 4 vacations at my disposal but unfortunately 2 of them were wasted when I ended up being sick during both of them and almost back to back during the month of March the rest was great but would of rather have spent it in a more enjoyable fashion I mean not that I really ever go anywhere for my vacations but being sick for the majority of the time off is no fun at all.   

     As for the rest of the first half of the year I had a chance to purchase the new Ipad in which I ended up giving my daughter the older model which she has really enjoyed as I have noticed of her lately and of course this on top of the Kindles that I ended up getting for both her and her mom.  As for me I did the robot thing I got up and went to work and then came home and vegetated in front of the boob tube and zone out until going to bed for the the night. 

      For the most part the rest of the year went by without too much excitement I mean aside from the time spent with my daughter it was just another year extremely hot during the summer and then some as the heat wave didn't know when to quit. Finally we were reprieved by a little rain storm that lasted a couple of days was miserable to drive through but all in all I was grateful to be cooling off just a little.  Even thought I am not much of a fan of rain I guess it has it's purpose here to help water things and help clean the air every so often and that is good.

      What can I say about the last quarter of the year except it was cooler although we were still having some really high temperatures for this time of year.  September and October flew by so fast I couldn't believe it but you would never know it with they way stores are always preparing for the next holiday so we went from getting ready for back to school season then jumped right into Halloween, and then you blink and pop here comes the turkey trimmings.  But come on Turkey day was still weeks away and guess what Christmas decorations are being sprawled all over the place.  They just don't miss a beat do they. 

      December started with a little bit of  issue down on the docks, cause due to a walk-out by one of our fellow locals I ended up taking my planned last vacation but this was intended to begin the following week but because of the strike I ended going on it earlier and for a longer stay then intended so I had a nice 11 day off vacation just before Christmas.  This had a two fold issue I got the rest I needed but it also cause a unwanted cash strain for the next few weeks which kind of put a bummer on the season for me.  Cause even if I don't really participate I do at least like to give money out to the grand kids, that is honorary grand kids.  So it was another non-Christmas, Christmas for me.  

       So as the year wound down I have to say thank you to my daughter again because it became a contest of sorts to see how many Christmas movies we could watch this season a lot of them we had seen before plus a whole slew of new ones that came out this year.  It was a great ending to another quick year so now I sit here waiting to see what they new year brings.

      Oh and one last thought who knew that the Mayans were going to run out of writing space on that wheel and the whole world was already for appending doom.  Who knew ?

It Was Just A Blur

      I don't know where all the time went these past couple of years. My previous blog that was to catch up the year of 2010 was written the beginning of 2012 and dated for January of 2011.  Well that catching up process was going to continue but for whatever reason I just seemed to lose track of time of the whole mess until it was just a blur in my mind with the days just melding into to one another.   

        So  I like to say that all has been well since my son past away in 2009 but unfortunately it has been far from that and although.  I have been able to put a good front in regards to the loss of him so as to not have the constant sympathy pats on the back or shoulder.  But all in all I think I am doing pretty good on the outside but inside I have to live with the thought was there anything I could of done to prevent this from happening.  I guess I will never truly know but I do wish that I could hear my son's voice just one more time to let me doing he is truly in a better place and not suffering more then he did here. 

        I find this kind of odd that all these years I have had my computer at home and all the time in the world to write another blog  and here I am at work typing my second one it this week while I am on my break, which means this is definitely going to improve my typing ability on this keypad I bought for my Ipad.   Time I usually spent watching tv or playing games or even a little web searching and of course those pop appearances on FB well anyway I should get back to my blog  before the notion of writing a blog becomes a blur. 

          So as I said earlier 2011 went by rather quickly in a blur of motions and partly in a fog as if I was there but not really there enjoying time spent with my daughter cause that has become my new favorite thing to do spending time with her cause I have already lost one I would hate to lose another for whatever reason it would happen especially without the chance to spend all the time possible with the one last thing that means the world to me.   She is special in all her various ways and as I have said in the past, she brightens up my day and going a day without hearing her voice for a brief chat. I will never share the kind of bond that she has with her mom , nor will she ever share what I had with my son but what we have together is something really special that I wouldn't ever give up.  

          There I go again trailing off into other directions can't seem to keep my mind on the same discussion.  Anyway the year went by as it always does.  The beginning of the year use to be a time of grateful of my vacation check but at the same time dreading the possibility having to pay more in taxes then I have put away for, and hoping to have enough left to be able to get my kids things for their birthday.  So when I actually had enough to get them the things I was grateful maybe not as much as they were but for the most part it has always been more about spending time together  then anything else. 

          The rest of the year went by pretty uneventful flying by as the first part it did.  My birthday came and went just like any other day.  As I watch it all go by in just one big blur all I can do is look forward to the weekends, well Sunday really when I have my weekly get together with my lovely daughter.  I keep thinking someday the pain inside will slowly go away, but it is getting easier to make it through the day without pretending to be happy. 

           I remember the holiday season approaching knowing that since losing my mom this has always been the toughest part of the year to get through.  I guess the adding strain of  Josh no longer being around to bring what little Christmas spirit into the house it has become a cold dark place again and even though I bury myself in Christmas movies I still am unable to have the holiday spirit at all.  Well this year has finally came to and end and I have all of 2012 to look forward to in hopes that it will be a better year for me.  Wishing all the best and trying to believe it will.

I Can't Believe Finally Read Them All

        I set out to play catch up and read all of my mija's  blogs which was long overdo.  This little adventure started all the way back in the year of 2005 or 2006 which one I am not sure at this moment.  I got to read all the highs and lows in here life that she is sometimes not able to express verbally but it made it all that much nice reading into her thoughts and her creativity.  I must agree that I am blessed with a really imaginative daughter who has always been able to get lost in her books, movies and  RP games in which her creativity really shines.  

        I have always been grateful for her outlook on life cause she was born with a handicap that she has not let hinder or diminish her desire to strive to be something that you wouldn't expect of a person with her handicap.  Although it may have meant that she had to be given special reading material, but she is still the one that has to do the work and that she accomplished all that and got a BA in Anthropology.  Her love for things of old has channeled into thing of the past some of it on the dark side but all in the name of Role Playing her new love which perfect with her life cause of her creative mind.  

        Well anyway back to the point of this blog in the first place it has been a very long time since I actually wrote a blog the last blog I wrote a few months back but I back dated it to start of the year being 2012 and the slowly but surely do a little catch up blogging to bring everyone more caught up with my life over the years even though I really only have one follower to my blog and that is my lovely daughter who I have been spending a lot of time with either on  the phone or by texting and IMing each other.  Well I am not sure if any of her followers have strayed into  my blogs as seeing me as one of her followers too. 

         Well I will have to get back to this a little later as I am doing this while I am here at work and on my lunch break and it is almost over so I will have to continue this later when I get home or maybe a little more on my next break so bye for now will be back soon.  Well time flies when you are having fun here it is break time again so I will try to bang out some more lines and get it on the way to the printer so to speak. 

         I think I am dedicating this blog to my loving daughter who by reading her blogs has brought all the emotions you can think of from sadness to laughter and even a bit of anger to a point.  Through her blogs she has made me realize how special she really is to her Mother and I,  cause no matter how insane life gets she trudges on most of the time with a smile on her face and a song in her heart.  Sometimes that song even seeps out to those of us around here even when ppl look at here and think why is she so happy go lucky as they use to say many many years ago.  And of course it use to be happy and gay but of course that has a totally different meaning now a days.

         Mostly I like reading her blogs cause of the way she sees things in her eyes and all I can do is wish I can be as imaginative and creative as she is and the truth of the matter is when I was younger I had all the imagination a kid is suppose to have and created my own worlds that only I played in and everyone had to look from afar so I now see how my kids ended up with some of those traits and their mom had her own things that were picked up on and multiplied through our kids.  The funny thing is they like us have never really been bored because whether by creative means or just a having vivid imaginations they never allow themselves to get bored either.  

      I remember when I used to pick them up for the weekend they would bring their entire fort set up to play at my house and there they would spend most of the morning setting it all up so that they could play for hours until we leave the house and then the disappointment when they have to tear it down before leaving the house for the day.  They were so much fun to watch them  play together not fighting but playing, not saying that they didn't have their differences but they always got settled and were back playing again. I really miss those days seeing them playing together like that.

         Well typing this all up on this Ipad has been fun and a little bit exasperating cause I'm having to type blindly cause the bottom line disappears and I can't actually see what I am typing and it is just frustrating and I want to pull my hair out but darn I shave it all off yesterday so with that I guess this is a good place to finish this up so that is all for now.