I can't believe I started to write this back in August and only got as far as the Title. I must of gotten side tracked or just plain forgot that I started it and out of site out of mind syndrome occurred. So here I am having to recollect that stay all the way in December.
I remember having problems breathing that day and my chest being a little tight. Told my daughter and then waited for them to pick me up to get me checked out. After a long wait in the emergency I was finally admitted into the hospital to run some test. Although my stay there was brief I was given a semi-clean bill of health my heart was fine but further testing in the future was in the cards.
Well after being released I had to start the process of getting re-acquainted with Doctors and the dreaded taking of pills on a regular basis. So first off was the General Practitioner who then had me set up a stress test and then a follow up visit afterwards.
So after a month and half of doctor visits I have fallen back into my old habits or should I say just lack of interest in seeing the doctor. I am still taking the pills on a regular schedule when I remember, I do have those brief moments of memory lost or just plain forgetful.
I am grateful for the chance to be able to be out and about again. So here I am taking it once again one day at a time until the next setback happens hopefully not for a long time.
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Friday, August 2, 2013
What Happened to July
I can't believe that I can just remember taking the week off for my birthday week and then in a blink of an eye it was all in the past. It flew by so fast I think I slept all the way through the month of July. Well let see if I can remember enough to give a brief update. " Don't laugh Mija" . I will try to be brief then.
Anyway as you know the month of July soured by like you wouldn't believe partly because I worked so much which seemed to make everything just fly by. The weeks came and went without like a blur, I mean I was grateful to be working so much but I also knew it would be taking it toll on my body and towards the end of the month it was beginning to show.
The tiredness was beginning to be more apparent and dealing with all the headaches, cramps and just all around sleepiness from lack of sleeping at night anymore. I have gotten really tired of readjusting my mask and still not being able to sleep through the night. The need to get moving on setting up an new sleep study and new machine. Finally August has arrived and I can now take a 3 day weekend and try to catch up on some rest.
Anyway as you know the month of July soured by like you wouldn't believe partly because I worked so much which seemed to make everything just fly by. The weeks came and went without like a blur, I mean I was grateful to be working so much but I also knew it would be taking it toll on my body and towards the end of the month it was beginning to show.
The tiredness was beginning to be more apparent and dealing with all the headaches, cramps and just all around sleepiness from lack of sleeping at night anymore. I have gotten really tired of readjusting my mask and still not being able to sleep through the night. The need to get moving on setting up an new sleep study and new machine. Finally August has arrived and I can now take a 3 day weekend and try to catch up on some rest.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
My Birthday Vacation Week
Well it is that time of the year that I usually take time off only because I don't like being around work when my birthday rolls around. So use it to relax and play catch up with my shows but unfortunately that is already been done. I really should be going through stuff to go out or just organizing stuff as I go. But I am a classic procrastinator and there is a lot of things I should of done, at least the most pressing. Motivation is the key here or should I say the lack of motivation.
So my week started on a down note I am sad to say woke up with a headache that left me tired and listless most of the day. I mean I barely managed to get some things done, but I was able to go into the garage and cut up some more boxes to be thrown into the blue recycle can to taken out to the curb for a Fri. pickup. That in itself was an accomplishment on it's own I have now filled 3 cans full of cardboard and Styrofoam so that plus all the aluminum cans and bottles that Eileen picked up to take to recycle center. Plus 3 loads of laundry which should of been 4 but once again I bypassed one of my hampers.
Thursday was going to be a meeting night but I had other things planned to do before the meeting. But unfortunately because of the constant headaches and laziness I didn't get out of the house in time to get some of those things done. I was able to make it time to pickup my new work shoes and still find a decent enough parking for the meeting. Even as slow as the day seem to crawling by it did still manage to go be quick enough cause before I knew it I was waking up and it was now Friday.
I wish I could say that Friday started a little different but unfortunately
it seem to be the worst of the days cause I could do nothing but lay around. Know full well I had some stitching up some shorts. It was nearly 2 p.m. when I realize that I needed to bring the trash cans back in. So while watching some shows I fixed 2 pair of shorts I know I have more to stitch up minor tears before they get any bigger. Then just a little more laziness and messing around on the computer which I really have neglected on doing as of late.
Saturday was supposed to be a trip to the movies but that got put on hold and maybe just as well due to another sleepless night hopefully I will be able to get more sleep during the day and take care of a few more things. Well I like to day that that is what happened but it did not between stomach and headaches I was either laying down or sitting on the toilet most of the morning. Only later did everything start to subside so I made the most of it and ate something and come back to working on the computer once again.
Sunday is up in the air either it is going to be another daddy daughter day or we will make attempt at watching the next Star Trek movie and then maybe breakfast and shopping with mom tagging along for the Movie maybe breakfast. I won't know for sure until tomorrow but if it turns out to be just another daughter daddy day then everything will be on the status quo or same ole same ole. Will have to wait to see how that works out, so only time will tell.
Monday, June 10, 2013
A Return to the Movie Theater
It has been a very long time since I ventured out to the movies and this use to be a part of my life I really enjoyed spending with my Josh and Carisa. An then it all came to a halt cause my Josh was no longer there to share in the experience. I know this seems a little drastic but for me the joy of going had left me. I did manage to go one time with my daughter to go see Avatar in 3D and that too was only because I knew my son would of wanted to see it. So through my eyes he would be seeing it, and my daughter really wanted to see it too and I figured this would be my first attempt.
When I was younger and split up for the first time and living in Sacramento I managed to watch a quite a few movies on my own but that too was a different time in my life and now going is just so hard for me to manage to do. I feel for my daughter cause all though she too has lost my son in her life she still feels the need to move forward and enjoy the things she loves doing and for her that was movie going too. Before my son's passing she would frequently makes trips to the movies with her mom for shows that maybe interested her and her mom as opposed to those that my son would like.
As a family we would sometimes pick two movies ones that they like and ones that we liked. The majority of the time the choices made were pretty good or at least tolerable all the members of the family. But alas this is no longer what happens and aside from the one trip to see Avatar I haven't been out there again until this past weekend. My daughter and her mom have made at least a couple trips to the movies on their own and although I have been asked from time to time I have either declined or have been working on the day that chose to go.
So this weekend we finally had a family movie day to see the latest of installments of the Fast And Furious Movies. Afterwards we all went to my daughter and I's favorite restaurant so my ex could finally taste the Greek Omelet and due to a sleepless night she had we witness the full affect of what it looks like to be bobbing for apples without apples being on the menu. I saw a lot of me in her and now knew what I must look like to people at work on those sleepless nights I tend to have, but all in all it was a pleasant time we spent together.
After all that Carisa and I did our usual Sunday routine while her mom struggled to get back home with constant calls to make corrections along the way where she might of gotten turned around. So after a little shopping we were finally heading back to my house and we finally got the confirmation call that my ex had made it home safely. Of course after a little silliness of our own we would be heading back to pick up some food and then take Carisa home. A quick feeding frenzy and then on my way back home to get ready for the week to come.
When I was younger and split up for the first time and living in Sacramento I managed to watch a quite a few movies on my own but that too was a different time in my life and now going is just so hard for me to manage to do. I feel for my daughter cause all though she too has lost my son in her life she still feels the need to move forward and enjoy the things she loves doing and for her that was movie going too. Before my son's passing she would frequently makes trips to the movies with her mom for shows that maybe interested her and her mom as opposed to those that my son would like.
As a family we would sometimes pick two movies ones that they like and ones that we liked. The majority of the time the choices made were pretty good or at least tolerable all the members of the family. But alas this is no longer what happens and aside from the one trip to see Avatar I haven't been out there again until this past weekend. My daughter and her mom have made at least a couple trips to the movies on their own and although I have been asked from time to time I have either declined or have been working on the day that chose to go.
So this weekend we finally had a family movie day to see the latest of installments of the Fast And Furious Movies. Afterwards we all went to my daughter and I's favorite restaurant so my ex could finally taste the Greek Omelet and due to a sleepless night she had we witness the full affect of what it looks like to be bobbing for apples without apples being on the menu. I saw a lot of me in her and now knew what I must look like to people at work on those sleepless nights I tend to have, but all in all it was a pleasant time we spent together.
After all that Carisa and I did our usual Sunday routine while her mom struggled to get back home with constant calls to make corrections along the way where she might of gotten turned around. So after a little shopping we were finally heading back to my house and we finally got the confirmation call that my ex had made it home safely. Of course after a little silliness of our own we would be heading back to pick up some food and then take Carisa home. A quick feeding frenzy and then on my way back home to get ready for the week to come.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Dealer Days and the Possible Mishaps
I had been working all week long and it was just about that time to take my car in for it's maintenance. It is hard to believe that I already have 120,000 miles on my car. I know 8 yrs old and at 15,000 avg. per. yr they say I am right on schedule, I guess I was just so used to the avg. being 12,000 per yr but I guess times have changed, and we as drivers tend to drive either farther distances to get places of are just in our vehicles more often.
So now I go all prepared to for a long stay at the dealer, that includes my Ipad for movies and simple internet stuff, my books and kindle for reading material, and of course my phone for all the other silliness. So after checking in with my service rep., I go find my table occupied by someone so after a quick trip to the restroom I come back and do something I rarely do ask if anyone was sitting at the other chair and did he mind sharing the table.
Well being the inquisitive one that I am after about 5 to 8 minutes I inquire about his tablet in which strikes up a big conversation about other gadgets and stuff which made for a pleasant start to my morning there but after a while his car is ready and yes I did get the table to myself but I now seemed to be more distracted about things going on around me. I have now been here for over 2 hrs and starting to wonder if they found out anything else new that needed to be taken care of.
Finally the my service adviser comes to tell it is all done and waiting for me to go to the cash register and pay and then pick up my car. So happily I take care of that and then head off back home. I stop for some food on the way home and then pretty much vegg out the rest of the day.
Later that evening I just happen to go outside and notice drips coming from under my car and at first thought it was from the AC but after checking it out found out it that it appeared to be oil from the engine or transmission. So next day when I was getting ready to leave to pick up my daughter I notice that it still leaking. Now this is beginning to be a concern to me and come Mon. I called the Dealer back and scheduled to bring it back in on Wed. when I will be off of work.
Wednesday comes and I take the car in first thing in the morning and wait and hope that it something they did and not something else that will end up costing a fortune. Luckily for me all it turned out to be was a cracked washer on the oil pan plug. So finally I can go home relieved that the problem has been solved and all I need to do is a little light clean up on my driveway.
So now I go all prepared to for a long stay at the dealer, that includes my Ipad for movies and simple internet stuff, my books and kindle for reading material, and of course my phone for all the other silliness. So after checking in with my service rep., I go find my table occupied by someone so after a quick trip to the restroom I come back and do something I rarely do ask if anyone was sitting at the other chair and did he mind sharing the table.
Well being the inquisitive one that I am after about 5 to 8 minutes I inquire about his tablet in which strikes up a big conversation about other gadgets and stuff which made for a pleasant start to my morning there but after a while his car is ready and yes I did get the table to myself but I now seemed to be more distracted about things going on around me. I have now been here for over 2 hrs and starting to wonder if they found out anything else new that needed to be taken care of.
Finally the my service adviser comes to tell it is all done and waiting for me to go to the cash register and pay and then pick up my car. So happily I take care of that and then head off back home. I stop for some food on the way home and then pretty much vegg out the rest of the day.
Later that evening I just happen to go outside and notice drips coming from under my car and at first thought it was from the AC but after checking it out found out it that it appeared to be oil from the engine or transmission. So next day when I was getting ready to leave to pick up my daughter I notice that it still leaking. Now this is beginning to be a concern to me and come Mon. I called the Dealer back and scheduled to bring it back in on Wed. when I will be off of work.
Wednesday comes and I take the car in first thing in the morning and wait and hope that it something they did and not something else that will end up costing a fortune. Luckily for me all it turned out to be was a cracked washer on the oil pan plug. So finally I can go home relieved that the problem has been solved and all I need to do is a little light clean up on my driveway.
Monday, June 3, 2013
My Little Varucca
Well one week after my phone had it little hiccup we are back out for another daddy daughter day. Early rises has a new meaning when it deals with these days, cause I always wake up early but the actual getting started is what tends to move a slo mo for quite some time. In part to various reasons numbering from laziness to those little irritating visits from good ole mother nature. So after all is said and done I am finally leaving out of the house on my way to pick my mija.
So this week is no difference than any other one and as I said I am now finally on my way to pick her for breakfast, shopping and then hanging out at my house and either watching a movie or a show that I had recorded on my DVR. But today would be different cause at one of our stops we decided to take a look at the phones here and see what kind of deal they had to offer. And to our surprise they had a better deal as in the fact that the tax was only applied to the actual sale price and not the retail price that Best Buy was telling us which dropped the price all the way down to about 450 as opposed to the 545 it would of been at Best Buy.
Now the reason we didn't get them last week at Best Buy was the fact that they did not have 2 of them in black and this week when I called they didn't even have 1 in black but a bunch in white. The Other store well we were in luck they did have them in black. So I ask my mija what she wanted to do to go back to Best Buy and get there and the Insurance they offered or just stick with the AT& T had. Well before I could finish that sentence my daughter was looking at me like the now daddy now I want it now. Kind of remind you of any character in a movie. Okay so now I have My Little Varucca looking at me with those I will love you forever daddy if you get it now. What is a father to do with a smile like that.
So now she has been the happy camper messing with her phone that might I say is way better then the I currently own. Every day I hear say that she found out to do some other new feature in which reminds me that mind can't do that one either. Oh well I guess I will have to wait at least a few more months to see what new stuff comes out then to upgrade my new dinosaur I carry on my waste. I am happy that was able to get the software update to make it a better dinosaur but still 2 generations older then hers.
Well enough said for this one as I have already went far too long as is. So until the next chapter I bid you a fond adieu.
So this week is no difference than any other one and as I said I am now finally on my way to pick her for breakfast, shopping and then hanging out at my house and either watching a movie or a show that I had recorded on my DVR. But today would be different cause at one of our stops we decided to take a look at the phones here and see what kind of deal they had to offer. And to our surprise they had a better deal as in the fact that the tax was only applied to the actual sale price and not the retail price that Best Buy was telling us which dropped the price all the way down to about 450 as opposed to the 545 it would of been at Best Buy.
Now the reason we didn't get them last week at Best Buy was the fact that they did not have 2 of them in black and this week when I called they didn't even have 1 in black but a bunch in white. The Other store well we were in luck they did have them in black. So I ask my mija what she wanted to do to go back to Best Buy and get there and the Insurance they offered or just stick with the AT& T had. Well before I could finish that sentence my daughter was looking at me like the now daddy now I want it now. Kind of remind you of any character in a movie. Okay so now I have My Little Varucca looking at me with those I will love you forever daddy if you get it now. What is a father to do with a smile like that.
So now she has been the happy camper messing with her phone that might I say is way better then the I currently own. Every day I hear say that she found out to do some other new feature in which reminds me that mind can't do that one either. Oh well I guess I will have to wait at least a few more months to see what new stuff comes out then to upgrade my new dinosaur I carry on my waste. I am happy that was able to get the software update to make it a better dinosaur but still 2 generations older then hers.
Well enough said for this one as I have already went far too long as is. So until the next chapter I bid you a fond adieu.
Friday, May 10, 2013
The Day the Phone Died
Last weekend was supposed to be a stress free weekend where I would be able to just kick back and relax. Well that all began to change on the very first day. My Ex came back into town to visit with her kids and had asked if I had a camera that I wasn't using, so if you know me by now that is a silly question cause I have more then enough of stuff cause I tend to upgrade things when the newer better models show up. So in this case I had 3 digital cameras a small one easy enough to tuck away somewhere which I bought for my car in case of accident, to be able to take pictures of it all.
Then I have 2 others a recent purchase for it's 40x zoom plus the higher mega pixels then the other camera. As I had stated in one of my other blogs I had wanted to go with a digital SLR camera but opted with Automatic one instead like the other one. So now I have 2 of those and I figured I would let go of one of them go for my Ex to have, but that wasn't the case at all. She opted for the smaller one because it was easier to carry and keep in her purse. I had kind of wanted to keep that one for what I said, but with cell phones being with such great cameras in them I really don't need it as much anymore.
So Friday begins with a trip to the tire shop to have tires rotated and then off to pick my ex-wife to go to breakfast and talk a little bit. After breakfast we went and did a little shopping at Target then I dropped her off and then back home to relax the rest of the day well at least that is what I hoped. Alas there was the problem of the dreaded laundry piling up and in need of a great cleansing. Through it all I was able to do a little catching up of shows but not as much as I had originally planned.
Saturday arrives and I get an early morning call about giving my ex a ride to the Little Jesse's T-ball game and then drop her off at a party for one of her nephews kid. I ended up staying at the party for quite a while so another day flew by just like that. All in all in wasn't such a bad day I got plenty of pictures with both my digital camera and camera from my cell phone. They turned out pretty good for what I got but every happy story has a downside to it.
I decided to update my phone with the new operating system and during the process something happened and it bombed out and my phone went dead or wouldn't boot up again. So after many hours of trying I gave up for the evening and took my SIM card and put it in my old blackberry phone to have a working phone for the time being.
Sunday rolled around and it was time for another daddy daughter day. So I go to pick her up for our usual breakfast and shopping extravaganza and then after dropping off freezer stuff at my house we headed off to best buy to see if they could do anything about my little problem all the while I am upset cause I may have lost all my data and pictures off the camera.
This was turning into a very disappointing time here cause after a couple of attempts the tech has no luck and informs me that it may have to be sent in and refurbished one will be returned to me if mine can't be repaired. So since we are here we peruse around at the new Galaxy S4's and are looking to purchase but alas they only had the one in black so my little Verruca will have to wait another week for her new phone.
After work on Monday I decide to go to AT&T to see if anyone there might be able to assist me in my little dilemma. She informs me that by doing the hard reboot I will more then likely lose all my data and it will reset back to factory settings. After 2 attempts it finally goes through but not reset but updated to the new operating system. I am still under the impression that my photos and other data is all gone, but to my amazement the photos were still there and with the new system the display was much nicer.
So what turned out to be a very painstaking weekend with plenty of ups and downs it was all finally rectified on Monday. So now off to learn all the new features to the system and retrieve some of the apps I had lost in the process, but at least I am a happy camper again.
Then I have 2 others a recent purchase for it's 40x zoom plus the higher mega pixels then the other camera. As I had stated in one of my other blogs I had wanted to go with a digital SLR camera but opted with Automatic one instead like the other one. So now I have 2 of those and I figured I would let go of one of them go for my Ex to have, but that wasn't the case at all. She opted for the smaller one because it was easier to carry and keep in her purse. I had kind of wanted to keep that one for what I said, but with cell phones being with such great cameras in them I really don't need it as much anymore.
So Friday begins with a trip to the tire shop to have tires rotated and then off to pick my ex-wife to go to breakfast and talk a little bit. After breakfast we went and did a little shopping at Target then I dropped her off and then back home to relax the rest of the day well at least that is what I hoped. Alas there was the problem of the dreaded laundry piling up and in need of a great cleansing. Through it all I was able to do a little catching up of shows but not as much as I had originally planned.
Saturday arrives and I get an early morning call about giving my ex a ride to the Little Jesse's T-ball game and then drop her off at a party for one of her nephews kid. I ended up staying at the party for quite a while so another day flew by just like that. All in all in wasn't such a bad day I got plenty of pictures with both my digital camera and camera from my cell phone. They turned out pretty good for what I got but every happy story has a downside to it.
I decided to update my phone with the new operating system and during the process something happened and it bombed out and my phone went dead or wouldn't boot up again. So after many hours of trying I gave up for the evening and took my SIM card and put it in my old blackberry phone to have a working phone for the time being.
Sunday rolled around and it was time for another daddy daughter day. So I go to pick her up for our usual breakfast and shopping extravaganza and then after dropping off freezer stuff at my house we headed off to best buy to see if they could do anything about my little problem all the while I am upset cause I may have lost all my data and pictures off the camera.
This was turning into a very disappointing time here cause after a couple of attempts the tech has no luck and informs me that it may have to be sent in and refurbished one will be returned to me if mine can't be repaired. So since we are here we peruse around at the new Galaxy S4's and are looking to purchase but alas they only had the one in black so my little Verruca will have to wait another week for her new phone.
After work on Monday I decide to go to AT&T to see if anyone there might be able to assist me in my little dilemma. She informs me that by doing the hard reboot I will more then likely lose all my data and it will reset back to factory settings. After 2 attempts it finally goes through but not reset but updated to the new operating system. I am still under the impression that my photos and other data is all gone, but to my amazement the photos were still there and with the new system the display was much nicer.
So what turned out to be a very painstaking weekend with plenty of ups and downs it was all finally rectified on Monday. So now off to learn all the new features to the system and retrieve some of the apps I had lost in the process, but at least I am a happy camper again.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Boys with Toys Part 2
Sometimes I really wonder what in the world am I thinking, every year new gadgets come out new camera's, phones and tablets. All just sitting there begging to be bought and sometimes I just can't resist the temptations. I mean after all I already have two different tablets right now 3 digital cameras a couple of video cameras and that is not even counting my laptop and desktop computer. But every year they just like to tease me with all the new toys.
This year after buying my cell phone they came out with one that was so much better, but then again is that always the way it is anyway. With the new Source and larger Kindle Fire both have interesting points but if I was going to make the purchase it would probably be the Source cause it seems pretty cool with Windows 8 on it an all. I have been considering getting a Kindle but just the reader cause I didn't feel the need to buy another tablet. Well maybe but the jury is not back yet on that ruling.
There are other things that I have had my eyes on but being on the limited funds I have to keep it more down to earth. So getting a new car or new 3D big screen TV with new 3D blu-ray player is out of the question. But still there is always the hope of new things and if not for me then maybe for the ones I care for. I settled for getting the new Kindle Paper-white which I have to admit is pretty cool. But for me unless I end up giving in to the Source I will have learn to sit back and dream for better gadgets from a far.
Next up for me will be the shopping project to get my daughter her new phone and get her into the smart phone generation. So I will have to live through her in her new purchase and be jealous of her new toy, but I love my daughter and this will be like a late birthday present to her and I hope she enjoys it. So I better cut this off here cause it is getting late and I need to get up early to go to work in the morning.
This year after buying my cell phone they came out with one that was so much better, but then again is that always the way it is anyway. With the new Source and larger Kindle Fire both have interesting points but if I was going to make the purchase it would probably be the Source cause it seems pretty cool with Windows 8 on it an all. I have been considering getting a Kindle but just the reader cause I didn't feel the need to buy another tablet. Well maybe but the jury is not back yet on that ruling.
There are other things that I have had my eyes on but being on the limited funds I have to keep it more down to earth. So getting a new car or new 3D big screen TV with new 3D blu-ray player is out of the question. But still there is always the hope of new things and if not for me then maybe for the ones I care for. I settled for getting the new Kindle Paper-white which I have to admit is pretty cool. But for me unless I end up giving in to the Source I will have learn to sit back and dream for better gadgets from a far.
Next up for me will be the shopping project to get my daughter her new phone and get her into the smart phone generation. So I will have to live through her in her new purchase and be jealous of her new toy, but I love my daughter and this will be like a late birthday present to her and I hope she enjoys it. So I better cut this off here cause it is getting late and I need to get up early to go to work in the morning.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Procrastination
Of all the things I have realized over the years my procrastination has been one of my biggest downfalls. As I look back over it all I could only wish that things would of been different or that I cared enough to make the change, but since it is what it is and I am what I am procrastinator extraordinaire. To some it is a gift to some it is a curse but to me it is just me being me as lazy as I can be. Phrases like why put off what you can do today has always been turned around. I know I know I am bad but there you have it in a nutshell.
So this week I was off all week in which would of been a big opportunity to get things done around the house in a lot of different projects, but alas although I did get the important things done I never really got much of anything else accomplished whether I set myself to do it or it was a passing fancy. So there you have it my greatest virtue is my ability to get out of doing things and create the best couch potato that ever lived, no no just kidding not ever lived cause it has only been the past century that anyone has been capable of becoming a couch potato.
When the week was finally over and I found myself getting ready for bed early in order to return back to work and the misery of the rut I have truly let dominate my life over the past few years. I like to think that time has a way helping you get through life's woes. So as I live through all of this and keep putting things off I will try to make some kind of change in things to start getting the clutter out of my life.
Well life goes on, so even with all the thoughts racing around in my head I do know that sooner or later I have to go through it all and clear it out before it is too late to do anything and in essence past that job onto others which wouldn't be too fair to them. So hoping to get myself motivated to tackle this stuff little by little if I have to, but slowly but surely getting rid of the junk that it ultimately tying down to this house.
Well this is has been an adventure to say the least cause my mind has been racing around on this over the past few weeks and as tired as I have been I know I need to get off my butt and get busy clean up my life, my affairs, my house cause I really don't know how long I will be around anymore, it can all be taken away just like that. So with new ambition I hope to make the changes needed or at least try to make a start in that direction.
So this week I was off all week in which would of been a big opportunity to get things done around the house in a lot of different projects, but alas although I did get the important things done I never really got much of anything else accomplished whether I set myself to do it or it was a passing fancy. So there you have it my greatest virtue is my ability to get out of doing things and create the best couch potato that ever lived, no no just kidding not ever lived cause it has only been the past century that anyone has been capable of becoming a couch potato.
When the week was finally over and I found myself getting ready for bed early in order to return back to work and the misery of the rut I have truly let dominate my life over the past few years. I like to think that time has a way helping you get through life's woes. So as I live through all of this and keep putting things off I will try to make some kind of change in things to start getting the clutter out of my life.
Well life goes on, so even with all the thoughts racing around in my head I do know that sooner or later I have to go through it all and clear it out before it is too late to do anything and in essence past that job onto others which wouldn't be too fair to them. So hoping to get myself motivated to tackle this stuff little by little if I have to, but slowly but surely getting rid of the junk that it ultimately tying down to this house.
Well this is has been an adventure to say the least cause my mind has been racing around on this over the past few weeks and as tired as I have been I know I need to get off my butt and get busy clean up my life, my affairs, my house cause I really don't know how long I will be around anymore, it can all be taken away just like that. So with new ambition I hope to make the changes needed or at least try to make a start in that direction.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
To Wash or not To Wash
Well once again plans have change but this time for the better I hope. Although I really wanted to work this weekend or needed to I find myself staying home after all. With thought of possibly making another attempt at washing my car because it is really dirty. The weekend forecast is not looking good chance of rain this weekend will ultimately put off the cleansing for another weekend. Looks like another week of looking at my filthy car and the so called rain has made more of a mess of it. So I had to put it off for another week oh joy.
Well the week goes by pretty fast and yes here comes the weekend and I finally get the opportunity to wash my car again. It has been so long I was really hating the how dirty it looked. Thankfully there was no rain to make my dirty car look even worse. So finally after waiting so long I am happy to say it is all clean now. Sometimes I wish I just had a smaller car that I could do a quickie job every week at home but unfortunately my Xterra has that basket on top and has to be air blown to get all the water out.
So a week has gone by and as luck would have it they are expecting some rain for this week but at least the car is clean and not worried about any spots forming from all the dirt that was there. Unfortunately this week happen to be breezy and dusty so by Wed. there was a layer of dust that formed and had it really rained that wouldn't of been a problem. But we live in Southern Cal. and most of the rain is more like a trickle so instead of getting rained on it barely touches the car and leaves little dirt spots. So after all the waiting I still have spotty car although I did try to just brush most of it off but it still shows the spots so back to the car wash I go this weekend.
All in all I have to sit back and wonder why did I even bother but I knew the truth was of all things I care a lot about is my car and I like to see it clean. Maybe I am not on top of it like I used to be but I do try to keep it from getting to dirty. Well this goes to show you how boring my life has become.
Monday, April 8, 2013
Sorrow has been put on hold this year.
What a difference a day makes. All set for a 3 day weekend of rest and remembrance of my son. I wanted to just take it easy and maybe even venture the attempt to go in Josh's computer to see things again to bring back just a little memory of him. Well at least that was the plan, but first I needed to go and get my TWIC card renewed. And that is where the whole weekend went down hill for me.
Wasn't expecting any kind of speedy service there, knew there was going to be some kind of delay, I was prepared for the wait by bringing my Ipad , a book and of course my phone to text with if the need arises. Well all was for not cause unbelievably I was out of there within a half hour to 45 mins. This should of made me happy but unfortunately before going in to the place I had a little mishap that pretty much ruined my weekend.
Funny thing happened well parking at the TWIC Center, something as simple as trying not to park on the blue line I had to re-park the car but dummy that I am decided to do it while having door open to see the line instead of using my mirrors and back up camera. So after backing so far I backed into a low hanging tree branch that was leaning far enough over to miss my car but made perfect contact with my rear window. So all of a sudden I hear this loud pop and being that I have ran over parking spikes before thought it was my tire that just got blew out. But no it was my window that just pop after enough pressure was applied and the only that save me from it shattering all over the place was the tint I had on it.
The cost either way would pretty much be about the same. But luckily I found a place online that would come out to my house and install the new window. Since my rear window is one of those with the heating coils in them it ran a little bit more but like I said my tire would of cost about the same. So the guy gets to my house about 12:30 and is done in like 45 min. but the bad news is the long awaited car wash that my Xterra has been crying out for will now have to be put off for another weekend. I has been one thing after another for over a month now and what luck it is suppose to rain the following weekend.
The whole mess pretty much put a damper on the whole weekend for me cause of whole reminder of a broken window all weekend. I ended up staying home instead going to a T-ball game on Sat. I shake it off enough so I can be able to put on a happy face and spend time with my lovely daughter. I guess one good thing that came out of this whole thing is that it took my mind off of my son at least in which I am grateful.
So another anniversary date passed by and thanks to the broken window it went by without shedding a tear about him being gone. So the weekend of sadness never happened and I am okay with that although I would of rather did without the broken window too, but I guess I can't have everything so until next time so long.
Wasn't expecting any kind of speedy service there, knew there was going to be some kind of delay, I was prepared for the wait by bringing my Ipad , a book and of course my phone to text with if the need arises. Well all was for not cause unbelievably I was out of there within a half hour to 45 mins. This should of made me happy but unfortunately before going in to the place I had a little mishap that pretty much ruined my weekend.
Funny thing happened well parking at the TWIC Center, something as simple as trying not to park on the blue line I had to re-park the car but dummy that I am decided to do it while having door open to see the line instead of using my mirrors and back up camera. So after backing so far I backed into a low hanging tree branch that was leaning far enough over to miss my car but made perfect contact with my rear window. So all of a sudden I hear this loud pop and being that I have ran over parking spikes before thought it was my tire that just got blew out. But no it was my window that just pop after enough pressure was applied and the only that save me from it shattering all over the place was the tint I had on it.
The cost either way would pretty much be about the same. But luckily I found a place online that would come out to my house and install the new window. Since my rear window is one of those with the heating coils in them it ran a little bit more but like I said my tire would of cost about the same. So the guy gets to my house about 12:30 and is done in like 45 min. but the bad news is the long awaited car wash that my Xterra has been crying out for will now have to be put off for another weekend. I has been one thing after another for over a month now and what luck it is suppose to rain the following weekend.
The whole mess pretty much put a damper on the whole weekend for me cause of whole reminder of a broken window all weekend. I ended up staying home instead going to a T-ball game on Sat. I shake it off enough so I can be able to put on a happy face and spend time with my lovely daughter. I guess one good thing that came out of this whole thing is that it took my mind off of my son at least in which I am grateful.
So another anniversary date passed by and thanks to the broken window it went by without shedding a tear about him being gone. So the weekend of sadness never happened and I am okay with that although I would of rather did without the broken window too, but I guess I can't have everything so until next time so long.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Another Weekends Flies By
Weekends come and weekends go but as always I have to ask is why do they have to go by so fast. I know when it hits all I want to do is kick back and rest, but sometimes I have things that need to be done. Friday I was kind of trapped at the house cause of some painting being done around the house and Security door. Even though this part didn't take long I was stuck at home cause of the inability to lock let alone shut my door until the paint dried.
Saturday was a change up of plans instead of being at home I picked up my daughter to do our usual Sunday thing a day earlier cause she had to take her cats in on Sunday so we did the switcheroo. So off to breakfast and then a little shopping spree and finally back to my house to do our usual viewing of either Blu-ray, DVD or DVR shows recorded that we both watch. This week we watch the Bible Pt. 1. As far as depictions of bible stories go this was interesting although it did cut things out and stray from the actual events in order to sensationalize. It was and okay version enough to warrant us continue to watch the other 4 parts. Hoping to see some more closeness to actual bible context.
Well Sunday already and I was just vegging out on the couch playing catch-up with my shows I came close but still not close enough. Only taking breaks to eat or bathroom runs. With a occasional nap here and there I made it through the day and actually knocked down the total amount of shows left to watch. As long as I can keep at it through the week next weekend I may be able to wipe the rest all off and be back at zero once again.
Well the night is winding down and drawing near for me to head off to bed because I have an early wake up call tomorrow. So for now I will end this little story with a happy note. I am grateful for the rest I did manage to get and hope to continue getting more rest during the week.
Saturday was a change up of plans instead of being at home I picked up my daughter to do our usual Sunday thing a day earlier cause she had to take her cats in on Sunday so we did the switcheroo. So off to breakfast and then a little shopping spree and finally back to my house to do our usual viewing of either Blu-ray, DVD or DVR shows recorded that we both watch. This week we watch the Bible Pt. 1. As far as depictions of bible stories go this was interesting although it did cut things out and stray from the actual events in order to sensationalize. It was and okay version enough to warrant us continue to watch the other 4 parts. Hoping to see some more closeness to actual bible context.
Well Sunday already and I was just vegging out on the couch playing catch-up with my shows I came close but still not close enough. Only taking breaks to eat or bathroom runs. With a occasional nap here and there I made it through the day and actually knocked down the total amount of shows left to watch. As long as I can keep at it through the week next weekend I may be able to wipe the rest all off and be back at zero once again.
Well the night is winding down and drawing near for me to head off to bed because I have an early wake up call tomorrow. So for now I will end this little story with a happy note. I am grateful for the rest I did manage to get and hope to continue getting more rest during the week.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Camera Craze
Yesterday I went home after work with the intention to play catch up on my shows but instead I actually spent like 3 hours tinkering around with my digital cameras. Putting in new memory cards and taking test shots with the new camera, then see how it looks on the computer. Then on to the next camera replacing the old memory card with the larger one and deleting everything off the old card. Then finally to my oldest camera my first digital the Fuji S5000 deleting off everthing off the card and start shopping for a larger memory card for it.
After all of that I finally sat down ate something and not a minute too soon cause was really hungry and I had some left over shrimp and fish I brought home from my daughters house. It actually kind of good a little more hassle then I care to deal with when eating shrimp but still they did taste good. So after all that and watching some of my shows in the living room I finished up the night back on the computer moving some pictures around into seperate folders. Also making additions to my movie list to get ready for another Target Tuesday with my mija. Well that was pretty much all that happened yesterday so after fighting to stay awake I just gave up and headed off to bed. So until the next time.
After all of that I finally sat down ate something and not a minute too soon cause was really hungry and I had some left over shrimp and fish I brought home from my daughters house. It actually kind of good a little more hassle then I care to deal with when eating shrimp but still they did taste good. So after all that and watching some of my shows in the living room I finished up the night back on the computer moving some pictures around into seperate folders. Also making additions to my movie list to get ready for another Target Tuesday with my mija. Well that was pretty much all that happened yesterday so after fighting to stay awake I just gave up and headed off to bed. So until the next time.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Spring Forward again
Thank goodness that most new technology stuff automatically resets the time for daylight savings time. I remember when I had to go around the whole house resetting answering machine, VCR's, alarm clocks and regular clocks wherever they were and however many watches and phones that required to be updated. Now most of those things have automatic daylight saving settings installed so no need to do them and others because of their link to the internet or satellites. I always seem to try to watch the change happen but as it always the case around that time I nod off and miss what I was waiting for and before I know it lost an hour in less the 5 minutes.
Well anyway this is the start of another Daughter daddy day which unfortunately started late but not for the normal reasons. We both got a later start cause of the lost hour but that ended up to be only part of the reason. After a nice shower, then getting ready to go I must of done something cause my lower back was now in a great deal of pain. I took something to help alleviate the pain a little at least so as not cancel out on the day with my mija. Kind of ironic the pill I took was a generic for no less but Aleve. Well that help me get under way but by no means took away the pain totally at all.
So here I am on the way to my daughters house and fighting off the pain but seems to be lessening and lessening as I get closer to her house. On the way to restaurant I am starting to feel it again wishing it would just quit, but I know it has to run it's course and sooner or later it would finally stop. When I got to the restaurant the sharp pain in the lower back was intense but only momentarily which was a good sign. The rest of the day it was off and on again for the most part but the pain getting less and less. When I got home I took some Tylenol to see if that would help and it did more then I thought it would and after dropping my daughter off at the end of the night I popped some advil to help the rest of the way and I woke this morning with it all gone what a relief.
in all the excitement about that thrilling pain ride I forgot to mention that I ended up buying a new Nikon at one of the stores with 32 gb on the memory card. So I am hopeful that I will make good use of this camera and it's little brother too. I really need to get back into using my regular SLR Nikon camera. I am really feeling the need to get out more like I use to do but I know it will take a while for me to that. Well only time will tell now, so this is where I will end this so as they say " Life is short don't waste it".
Well anyway this is the start of another Daughter daddy day which unfortunately started late but not for the normal reasons. We both got a later start cause of the lost hour but that ended up to be only part of the reason. After a nice shower, then getting ready to go I must of done something cause my lower back was now in a great deal of pain. I took something to help alleviate the pain a little at least so as not cancel out on the day with my mija. Kind of ironic the pill I took was a generic for no less but Aleve. Well that help me get under way but by no means took away the pain totally at all.
So here I am on the way to my daughters house and fighting off the pain but seems to be lessening and lessening as I get closer to her house. On the way to restaurant I am starting to feel it again wishing it would just quit, but I know it has to run it's course and sooner or later it would finally stop. When I got to the restaurant the sharp pain in the lower back was intense but only momentarily which was a good sign. The rest of the day it was off and on again for the most part but the pain getting less and less. When I got home I took some Tylenol to see if that would help and it did more then I thought it would and after dropping my daughter off at the end of the night I popped some advil to help the rest of the way and I woke this morning with it all gone what a relief.
in all the excitement about that thrilling pain ride I forgot to mention that I ended up buying a new Nikon at one of the stores with 32 gb on the memory card. So I am hopeful that I will make good use of this camera and it's little brother too. I really need to get back into using my regular SLR Nikon camera. I am really feeling the need to get out more like I use to do but I know it will take a while for me to that. Well only time will tell now, so this is where I will end this so as they say " Life is short don't waste it".
Day 2 Part 2
It was brought to my attention that on last trip to the dealers I was getting my car wash for a second time in 2 days, but in fact the second car wash didn't take place after all due to the fact of the long wait and the need to get on my way. I was debating between going to see my honorary grandson play t-ball on a Saturday or just grabbing food to take home and eat. Well believe it or not I actually didn't neither instead I went to take a look at new camera I was thinking of buying and do some basic comparison shopping of what was out there.
Well after I was finished with my little shopping trip I ended up heading back home and just popping in some quickie breakfast and relax at home playing catch up with DVR recordings. I am not just a regular couch potato but a high tech one that can record more shows than is humanly possible to watch. I am getting pretty bad about that and even worse when I start to fall behind cause it is next to impossible to get caught up again when you fall to far behind. It literally takes days off and a marathon session of straight viewing to even make a dent in it. One time I had to take vacation time just to get it all cleared up, well not actually take vacation for that reason but I did spend a lot of time playing catch up.
Anyway back to shopping for a new camera. I originally wanted to look into a normal DSLR ( digital single lense reflex) but with all the extra stuff I was starting to just opt for a better auto lense camera. I had decided to get this one Nikon cause it better mega-pixel and way better zoom then the one I have, just now to do some price comparison at different locations to get a better deal. Made up my mind that this is the one for me I like it and pretty sure I will end up buying it. Until we meet again and the saga continues.
Well after I was finished with my little shopping trip I ended up heading back home and just popping in some quickie breakfast and relax at home playing catch up with DVR recordings. I am not just a regular couch potato but a high tech one that can record more shows than is humanly possible to watch. I am getting pretty bad about that and even worse when I start to fall behind cause it is next to impossible to get caught up again when you fall to far behind. It literally takes days off and a marathon session of straight viewing to even make a dent in it. One time I had to take vacation time just to get it all cleared up, well not actually take vacation for that reason but I did spend a lot of time playing catch up.
Anyway back to shopping for a new camera. I originally wanted to look into a normal DSLR ( digital single lense reflex) but with all the extra stuff I was starting to just opt for a better auto lense camera. I had decided to get this one Nikon cause it better mega-pixel and way better zoom then the one I have, just now to do some price comparison at different locations to get a better deal. Made up my mind that this is the one for me I like it and pretty sure I will end up buying it. Until we meet again and the saga continues.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Day 2 at Dealers
Well this morning I got off to a sluggish start and finally made to the dealers to have my shocks replaced. I got here a little later then I had intended but I still made here about 9:15 and being it was a Saturday it was kind of crowded. Most of the places were taken to be able to sit down have a table in front of me, but fortunately for me a man got up and I had to ask the women that was sitting there with here Ipad tablet I believe. If she didn't mind sharing the table which she had no problem, it so nice to see people still able to share their space in this day an age.
I am grateful that I have the available funds in my acct. to pay for these shocks cause I was told I was in desperate need to have the replaced or else I would start bottoming out when I hit bumps and dips on the road. I think because going to CUT since they moved has taken it toll on my shocks but after all my Xterra is 8 yrs. old now so that is pretty good that I am finally replacing them after this long a period. I really am not sure how long they are suppose to last but 8 yrs. Well I just got a confirmation from one of the service reps. and the normal wear is like 40 to 50 thousand miles and I have already doubled that almost tripled if is really 40,000.
I am sitting 5 feet away from a table with all kinds of goodies and although it is tempting I am not really interested in them but those cookies do look good. They have bananas and apples too along with OJ to drink along with their normal coffee in the corner with donuts, but like I said before they are tempting. I might grab a banana but right now I am doing just fine with the coffee I had earlier.
I have never really seen it this crowded in here before at the dealers in the service center but then again I am usually in here around 7 and out of here by now or maybe a little later, actually one time I got here by 7:30 and didn't leave until after 1:30 now that was a long day but even then it really wasn't too crowded and I had my Ipad to watch movies so the time went by kind of fast, well as fast as it would if you were stuck somewhere for a long period of time. Todays visit was going to take a little over a hour and a half from the time they start I presume. Being I got here at let say 9:20 I am looking at being out of here maybe as early as 11 which is not too bad. I hope they don't have any problems.
The women across from me is a realtor and she was doing all of prep stuff while she was waiting for her car. Today was not her day cause she woke up with Laryngitis and could barely talk but she tried to communicate never the less. Finally the service rep came and gave her the bad news makes me feel lucky to only being paying so little if she were to take care of everything it would run her well over a thousand one of the problems was going to cost her at least 500 just to check to see what the problem actually was, of course that fee would then be applied to the actual repair but still just to look that is crazy. I guess it is the way the service rep said it that made it kind of funny. His words were if you are going to keep the car I would take care of this first cause it is the most pressing item first which was the most expensive one of the bunch.
Well it looks like my Xterra is almost done and then another quick wash so I can be on my way. Not sure what I am going to do now I have the choice of going to Little Jesse's game at noon or just go back home and veg out. What to do? What to do? well I will have figure that out soon enough so I guess I am going to finish this off now so I can get my stuff ready to go. Well it has been real I hope I didn't bore you too much with my going on and on.
I am grateful that I have the available funds in my acct. to pay for these shocks cause I was told I was in desperate need to have the replaced or else I would start bottoming out when I hit bumps and dips on the road. I think because going to CUT since they moved has taken it toll on my shocks but after all my Xterra is 8 yrs. old now so that is pretty good that I am finally replacing them after this long a period. I really am not sure how long they are suppose to last but 8 yrs. Well I just got a confirmation from one of the service reps. and the normal wear is like 40 to 50 thousand miles and I have already doubled that almost tripled if is really 40,000.
I am sitting 5 feet away from a table with all kinds of goodies and although it is tempting I am not really interested in them but those cookies do look good. They have bananas and apples too along with OJ to drink along with their normal coffee in the corner with donuts, but like I said before they are tempting. I might grab a banana but right now I am doing just fine with the coffee I had earlier.
I have never really seen it this crowded in here before at the dealers in the service center but then again I am usually in here around 7 and out of here by now or maybe a little later, actually one time I got here by 7:30 and didn't leave until after 1:30 now that was a long day but even then it really wasn't too crowded and I had my Ipad to watch movies so the time went by kind of fast, well as fast as it would if you were stuck somewhere for a long period of time. Todays visit was going to take a little over a hour and a half from the time they start I presume. Being I got here at let say 9:20 I am looking at being out of here maybe as early as 11 which is not too bad. I hope they don't have any problems.
The women across from me is a realtor and she was doing all of prep stuff while she was waiting for her car. Today was not her day cause she woke up with Laryngitis and could barely talk but she tried to communicate never the less. Finally the service rep came and gave her the bad news makes me feel lucky to only being paying so little if she were to take care of everything it would run her well over a thousand one of the problems was going to cost her at least 500 just to check to see what the problem actually was, of course that fee would then be applied to the actual repair but still just to look that is crazy. I guess it is the way the service rep said it that made it kind of funny. His words were if you are going to keep the car I would take care of this first cause it is the most pressing item first which was the most expensive one of the bunch.
Well it looks like my Xterra is almost done and then another quick wash so I can be on my way. Not sure what I am going to do now I have the choice of going to Little Jesse's game at noon or just go back home and veg out. What to do? What to do? well I will have figure that out soon enough so I guess I am going to finish this off now so I can get my stuff ready to go. Well it has been real I hope I didn't bore you too much with my going on and on.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Time just keeps flying by
Well the last two weeks has come and gone, I chose to take a job that was on the outside to get some fresh air the last week of February. For what it was worth it was fun being around the people I like working with most of my old co-workers, friends an acquaintances. Well as fun as it was in was only for a week cause due to the scheduling issues of that dock I chose to go else where the first week of March. Which it really worked out for the best as it was colder and chance or rain was in the air during the week. Both weeks were short weeks due to different reason I only worked 4 days each week, the first week cause I was trying to stay low enough in hours to get the job I wanted and well the 2nd week was due to maintenance for my vehicle.
I can't believe the year is flying by so fast already two months have come and gone just like that. I mean it is like I blink and another week goes flying by. I know I am get older and the time tends to go by faster for some strange reason, but sometimes I wish that it would leave you enough to time to take a step back and smell the coffee as they say or flowers for some. But basically for me I just need time to heal from old wounds and new ones too I guess. I am learning to enjoy the things in my life a little better now, loving spending time with my daughter to the point of having to hear her voice at least twice per day. Once for my wake up call and at night to say goodnight before going to sleep. Of course the call at night has a two-fold purpose not only to say goodnight but to also ask her sometimes plead my case for her to give me a wake up call.
I am really starting to think more about things that I have tried to not look at or choose to ignore cause basically I didn't want to deal with them but I am beginning to feel that I need to get going on some of this stuff now before it is too late to done at all. Aside from the general cleaning of the house, I also need to start getting my paperwork in order in the event that something happens to me. And I know I really don't like even talking about this stuff either but I need to deal with it cause I am getting up there now in years and though I am the youngest in my family I may be the one who is the most ill and a lot of that is due to me not wanting to take care of myself. I know but after so many losses in my life I just gave up and didn't care as much about anything anymore. Well I hope for the best and that I am allowed to live for a longer period then I feel I am left to hope for. But as they say only God knows when that time will be.
Today is Friday and I am at the dealers of all things taking care of the needs of my vehicle so that I am able to get to work and back, being able to pick my daughter for our weekly visits and of course let us not forget Target Tuesdays the two days we look forward to all week long. All the other days are just feeler days for me cause that is where the robot or zombie part of me lies doing the same thing day in and day out just going through the motions which is not saying that I am not having fun at work but some days I go there but wish I was home most of the day, but other times the silliness that goes on in the tower jobs and the just hanging out with friends when I get the chance to work at the other facility. Well anyway back to reality now, I am here for maintenance but also to possible have other things taken care of also with that too. Those are going to be the more expensive things needed then it comes down to decision time. Cost and Necessity is the name of the game total bill could reach 700 or more if I get it all taken care of today. Well looks like I may be making another trip back here tomorrow to have the shocks taken care of cause they have to order them so I will be making a return trip tomorrow but todays will be short and sweet. Well I think I will cut this one off right here. But stay tuned to the continuing Adventures of Tony the Tazman cya soon.
Today is Friday and I am at the dealers of all things taking care of the needs of my vehicle so that I am able to get to work and back, being able to pick my daughter for our weekly visits and of course let us not forget Target Tuesdays the two days we look forward to all week long. All the other days are just feeler days for me cause that is where the robot or zombie part of me lies doing the same thing day in and day out just going through the motions which is not saying that I am not having fun at work but some days I go there but wish I was home most of the day, but other times the silliness that goes on in the tower jobs and the just hanging out with friends when I get the chance to work at the other facility. Well anyway back to reality now, I am here for maintenance but also to possible have other things taken care of also with that too. Those are going to be the more expensive things needed then it comes down to decision time. Cost and Necessity is the name of the game total bill could reach 700 or more if I get it all taken care of today. Well looks like I may be making another trip back here tomorrow to have the shocks taken care of cause they have to order them so I will be making a return trip tomorrow but todays will be short and sweet. Well I think I will cut this one off right here. But stay tuned to the continuing Adventures of Tony the Tazman cya soon.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Things that make you go hmmm.
Last Friday night heading home after dropping off something at my daughters house I had to fight traffic all the way home, during what is widely called Rush Hour. You ever wonder why they called it that aside everyone trying to rush home. And the key word here is trying, cause during rush hour everyone is on the road and no one is rushing. If your lucky that average speed will get to maybe 30 to 35 mph. It has gone as slow as 20 and as high as 55 until you can break free of the congestion and then all hell breaks loose as ppl try to reach 80 plus.
It is times like this that I really have to wonder why labeling things the way that they do. I always laugh when I hear a comic reference the difference with naming things. Such as Parkway and Driveway, Parkways are roads cars drive on and Driveways are where they park opposites can be funny when they are applied right. The world is full of totally nonsense phrases, like he wants his cake and eat it too, I always they thought that ones was silly cause if I get cake I am going to eat it what else am I going to do with it. Oh an then I have this friend who likes to say this phrase and it bugs the crap out of me. "There is six in one hand and half a doz. in the other". I mean what does that mean anyway, the humor side of it is I have 5 fingers on one hand and half of 10 on the other hand. I guess it can be interperated many different ways for a lot of different scenarios.
I am sure there are plenty of those phrases out there that we may use and some we are quite tired of hearing. So I am going to continue eating my cake cause it was given to me and until ppl are given extra digits on their hand I will stick with my 5 thank you very much.
It is times like this that I really have to wonder why labeling things the way that they do. I always laugh when I hear a comic reference the difference with naming things. Such as Parkway and Driveway, Parkways are roads cars drive on and Driveways are where they park opposites can be funny when they are applied right. The world is full of totally nonsense phrases, like he wants his cake and eat it too, I always they thought that ones was silly cause if I get cake I am going to eat it what else am I going to do with it. Oh an then I have this friend who likes to say this phrase and it bugs the crap out of me. "There is six in one hand and half a doz. in the other". I mean what does that mean anyway, the humor side of it is I have 5 fingers on one hand and half of 10 on the other hand. I guess it can be interperated many different ways for a lot of different scenarios.
I am sure there are plenty of those phrases out there that we may use and some we are quite tired of hearing. So I am going to continue eating my cake cause it was given to me and until ppl are given extra digits on their hand I will stick with my 5 thank you very much.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Decisions , Decisions
Another weekend is rolling in and I am struggling with idea of taking a long weekend off or not. I know there are reasons why I should and also reason why I don't want to work, but unfortunately the reason to work are more out of necessity and to stay home out of pure laziness. So here I sit wondering what to do what to do. It is times like this that I really wish it didn't matter as much but that is not always the case. Sometimes I just want to relax and not worry about working at all but maybe that is something that has just crept into my life cause I use to love going to work but lately not even close. Like for example I use to say that if I had won the lottery I would still go to work but now boy has that attitude changes since then.
So the day is going by and I still haven't made up my mind yet. I hate weighing out the pros and cons on things like this cause I always seem to lose out, but that is not saying I always do the right thing or the best thing. Cause when it comes down to it sometimes you just need to take a break even when it is not the best time to do it. Well this weekend is just another one of those I am too tired to work but I need to do it. So back and forth I go and wondering why this is so hard to do, just need to make up my mind and stick to it. My boss even suggested for him to put me as coming in and if I change my mind just reap out the job, but even that comes with some hassles of the checking in or squaring off problem. What to do What to do.
Well it is nearing the end of the shift and I have finally resided in coming in tomorrow and maybe even Sat. too to get the next week off to a good start. Cause of all things concerned need wins out desire all the time so I will be here the next couple of days to insure there will still be a constant flow of money coming into my acct. for bills, food and of course the fun fun fun shopping trips with my lovely daughter. Well I guess I will cut this one short as I have been told I tend to write novels instead of essays which are actually too long also. So until we do this again that is all folks.
So the day is going by and I still haven't made up my mind yet. I hate weighing out the pros and cons on things like this cause I always seem to lose out, but that is not saying I always do the right thing or the best thing. Cause when it comes down to it sometimes you just need to take a break even when it is not the best time to do it. Well this weekend is just another one of those I am too tired to work but I need to do it. So back and forth I go and wondering why this is so hard to do, just need to make up my mind and stick to it. My boss even suggested for him to put me as coming in and if I change my mind just reap out the job, but even that comes with some hassles of the checking in or squaring off problem. What to do What to do.
Well it is nearing the end of the shift and I have finally resided in coming in tomorrow and maybe even Sat. too to get the next week off to a good start. Cause of all things concerned need wins out desire all the time so I will be here the next couple of days to insure there will still be a constant flow of money coming into my acct. for bills, food and of course the fun fun fun shopping trips with my lovely daughter. Well I guess I will cut this one short as I have been told I tend to write novels instead of essays which are actually too long also. So until we do this again that is all folks.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
One of Those Days
Yesterday I have to chalk it up to just one of those days. I woke up in the morning failing to check the dispatch jobs for the day prior to going to bed. So in the early morning when I woke up for the day I ended up checking through my phone in a hurry. Now see this is where my vision comes into play being that since age 40 my sight has been dimminishing over the years. So needless to say I grab for a pair of glasses through half awake eyes and saw the work for the day and made a quick determination that the jobs I wanted were not on there.
Well whether it be my rush to judgement on my part or the inefficiency of our dispatchers in doing their job that ended up costing me my day of work. But maybe it all worked out for the best. Yes i did miss a days wages but I was able to take care of a few things including starting the day out with breakfast at my daughters house. Spending the morning there was nice and although I did need to get going and taking care of some things it was still nice while I was there being that our sunday got cut short. So after leaving there a quick trip to the pay office to changes my status, not like I would do on let's say Facebook. Then off I went back home, with a quick trip to the gas station.
You ever wonder why it is that our gas price keep going up and down so much, I kind of think it is for their amuzement because anything of a positive nature takes prices forever to drop, but a accident of small contastrophe and oh boy what those rates climb out of this fear that we will be suddenly without any fuel for the comsumer. Scare tactics to the max is all that is and I think we are all getting sick of it. But there I go again going off point. Well it was to my advantage this day as after getting gas I went home and then left the house again to take care of the other dread of my life tax time. Well anyway after a favorable visit to my taxman I passed by the gas station that I got gas at earlier not even 3 hrs earlier and the price had gone up 2 cents if I had waited until i got off work today it may have been as high as 5 to 10 cents higher.
Finally after the days activities I was finally home again relaxing and catching up on some of the shows I recorded on the DVR's. I was grateful that the whole day was now over and winding down before heading to bed and still found time to look back on the day on what got accomplished. But still I have to admit I am still a little angry at missing a day of work and on something totally off issue. I had purchased some bookmarks from Borders a long time ago and I keep seeming to forget where I set them aside. Being that Borders is no longer out there I am kind of upset that they disappeared like that. Well anyway life is full of ups and downs and if it wasn't life would be too easy and boring. So thank you for keeping my life interesting to say the least.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Music Awards Shows
As times goes on I have started to really enjoy music awards shows cause they have gotten away more and more from the straight laced announcing the winners. Each year the performances get better and better with special effects. I know that music has evolved quite a bit over the years and although I have really appreciated the years passed. I am really grateful for the ability to be able to sit here and enjoy all the performances. It has given me and even wider range of music to listen to and appreciate each genre more and more.
Originally I thought I was going to have to watch them recorded from my DVR but due to change of events the day got cut short with my daughter and allowed me to return home early enough to come home and watch it live. The day started out pretty much as normally does with the exception that because of a movie I was watching I was delayed in getting in the shower to get the day rolling. And yes like my daughter said I do have the movie and could of watched it anytime but as we all know somethings you just have to finish. Sorry Mija I LOVE YOU TOO.
Well although we got to the restaurant and did enjoy the food. We didn't get our usual waitress which for whatever reason makes the meal more enjoyable. She was there but we had got seated in another person area so alas we just sat there and ate our food. Afterwards we went to take care of errands and stuff before having to head back to my mija house. So we made the most of it the errands brought us some goodies in the form of Suduko, Coloring Books and other useful stuff. Second stop at Wally World was a mandatory stop for the kitties. Then finally the last stop gave me the opportunity to get the books I was looking for and restock my gum supply.
Unfortunately the day as was said was cut short cause a something happening at the house and my mija needing to get back home to take of things. Although I stayed there for a little while and enjoyed my brief stay there I left to go home around 7 in order to get there before 8 to set up my DVR's for the night . I was able to watch the Grammy's live and it was pretty entertaining and I really enjoyed it a lot.
Well this is where I will end this one and believe me there will me many more to come as the days go by. I think I am just getting started here and really starting to enjoy this quite a bit too. So for now I hope this wasn't too boring of a read for you.
Originally I thought I was going to have to watch them recorded from my DVR but due to change of events the day got cut short with my daughter and allowed me to return home early enough to come home and watch it live. The day started out pretty much as normally does with the exception that because of a movie I was watching I was delayed in getting in the shower to get the day rolling. And yes like my daughter said I do have the movie and could of watched it anytime but as we all know somethings you just have to finish. Sorry Mija I LOVE YOU TOO.
Well although we got to the restaurant and did enjoy the food. We didn't get our usual waitress which for whatever reason makes the meal more enjoyable. She was there but we had got seated in another person area so alas we just sat there and ate our food. Afterwards we went to take care of errands and stuff before having to head back to my mija house. So we made the most of it the errands brought us some goodies in the form of Suduko, Coloring Books and other useful stuff. Second stop at Wally World was a mandatory stop for the kitties. Then finally the last stop gave me the opportunity to get the books I was looking for and restock my gum supply.
Unfortunately the day as was said was cut short cause a something happening at the house and my mija needing to get back home to take of things. Although I stayed there for a little while and enjoyed my brief stay there I left to go home around 7 in order to get there before 8 to set up my DVR's for the night . I was able to watch the Grammy's live and it was pretty entertaining and I really enjoyed it a lot.
Well this is where I will end this one and believe me there will me many more to come as the days go by. I think I am just getting started here and really starting to enjoy this quite a bit too. So for now I hope this wasn't too boring of a read for you.
Friday, February 1, 2013
The Year Begins
January has come again and this year has brought with it a colder time than we have had in while. I actually had to break out the electric heater and I am kind of dreading the electric bill when in comes. So with this being a new year I am looking forward to the healing process to continue, and allow me to do more things that I have yet to do since that day.
I know how much my daughter want to go to the movies and I am getting closer to being able to go. One of the things is needing to get an earlier start to attend the movie first like we use to do. I miss going to movies as a family and I guess that kind of hinders me in a way. Well someday I may be able to join the movie goer community but for now I guess it is wait til it comes out on Blu-ray or DVD.
Well this month has had it's ups and downs but I mean that temperature wise. Although the little warm front that comes and goes long enough for us all to thaw off before the next drop in temperature. Luckily it hasn't dropped down low enough to be unbearable in fact I haven't even turn the heater on since the beginning of the month. Thank you for that cause a warm front and cold back really doesn't help me at all. Will be glad when I get just go back to my summer weather that allows me to feel more comfortable.
Most of the month has been business as usual and now that it is all behind me I can say what I always say where did it all go. Grateful to be here another month to move on trucking down life's highway. Even if it comes with little hiccups along the way like the trip to the dealer I had today instead of something major it was at some cost but still with in reason. But an hour & half later I was heading back home or actually to pick up some more cold medicine because yes I am sick again. Boy am I getting tired of this I just wish I could finally have a long enough time being well in between illnesses.
Well Here we are in February and I just found out my rent is going up next month. Not that is anything to worry about cause it is only a fifty dollar increase. It is something I have actually been dreading for a long time as silly as it seems. I don't know why I should mind the last time my rent was increased is going on 2 yrs now maybe more I am not really sure. Anyway I will now have remember to write the new amount on the checks along with remembering to put 2013 being I write so few checks during the year.
Now I guess it is time to sign off on this new blog or a sad attempt of a blog but I will learn from practice or just crazy thoughts that I may want to share in the future. So before this turns into another novel I better quit now. Later.
I know how much my daughter want to go to the movies and I am getting closer to being able to go. One of the things is needing to get an earlier start to attend the movie first like we use to do. I miss going to movies as a family and I guess that kind of hinders me in a way. Well someday I may be able to join the movie goer community but for now I guess it is wait til it comes out on Blu-ray or DVD.
Well this month has had it's ups and downs but I mean that temperature wise. Although the little warm front that comes and goes long enough for us all to thaw off before the next drop in temperature. Luckily it hasn't dropped down low enough to be unbearable in fact I haven't even turn the heater on since the beginning of the month. Thank you for that cause a warm front and cold back really doesn't help me at all. Will be glad when I get just go back to my summer weather that allows me to feel more comfortable.
Most of the month has been business as usual and now that it is all behind me I can say what I always say where did it all go. Grateful to be here another month to move on trucking down life's highway. Even if it comes with little hiccups along the way like the trip to the dealer I had today instead of something major it was at some cost but still with in reason. But an hour & half later I was heading back home or actually to pick up some more cold medicine because yes I am sick again. Boy am I getting tired of this I just wish I could finally have a long enough time being well in between illnesses.
Well Here we are in February and I just found out my rent is going up next month. Not that is anything to worry about cause it is only a fifty dollar increase. It is something I have actually been dreading for a long time as silly as it seems. I don't know why I should mind the last time my rent was increased is going on 2 yrs now maybe more I am not really sure. Anyway I will now have remember to write the new amount on the checks along with remembering to put 2013 being I write so few checks during the year.
Now I guess it is time to sign off on this new blog or a sad attempt of a blog but I will learn from practice or just crazy thoughts that I may want to share in the future. So before this turns into another novel I better quit now. Later.
Auto Warranties ?
What can I say about this subject except for thct that it must be some unwritten rule that says that all vehicles will perform above the best of their ability until the warranty expires. Cause this way they can minimize the cost they have to pay out when when your car breaks down.
Unfortunately most of us are cars run perfectly until the mileage hits the end of the warranty mileage or year limit. Then as they say the shit hits the fan and cost start to really pile up, so that it leaves with the big question mark on your face is it time to buy a new car.
So you see they time it just right and then they got you coming or going. I made that mistake the last time and just got another vehicle cause I couldn't see sinking that much money into it to keep it running good.
I think I am lucky this time around cause most of the heavy stuff actually happened during the warranty on this vehicle as opposed to waiting until it expired. Could be that I had purchased the extended warranty all the way to 100,000 but alas that I am now passed that mark too.
Still my Xterra has ran pretty good and consistently with only minor problems and one that was not really pressing to the continued use of the car. Just a mild irritation that I have actually learned to live with sadly enough. So now that I have surpassed that mile stone and on my way to the next hundred thousand.
Which brings me to today I am at the dealer today, because of a switch in my car got stuck and is giving a false reading on my dash board. Although it wasn't pressing enough to rush right in the day I noticed, it was still necessary to have it taken care of in order to prevent damage to the engine in the long run.
So here I sit at the dealers with my Ipad in hand all prepared to watch movies while the Xterra is being repaired. Then I realize one thing I forgot my earplugs so that I can listen without disturbing anyone else so here I sit writing another blog.
So I hope you found this little banter informative if not amusing enough to keep you on the edge of your seats, just kidding I know I am not that witty of a person so I will end this now and say adieu
Unfortunately most of us are cars run perfectly until the mileage hits the end of the warranty mileage or year limit. Then as they say the shit hits the fan and cost start to really pile up, so that it leaves with the big question mark on your face is it time to buy a new car.
So you see they time it just right and then they got you coming or going. I made that mistake the last time and just got another vehicle cause I couldn't see sinking that much money into it to keep it running good.
I think I am lucky this time around cause most of the heavy stuff actually happened during the warranty on this vehicle as opposed to waiting until it expired. Could be that I had purchased the extended warranty all the way to 100,000 but alas that I am now passed that mark too.
Still my Xterra has ran pretty good and consistently with only minor problems and one that was not really pressing to the continued use of the car. Just a mild irritation that I have actually learned to live with sadly enough. So now that I have surpassed that mile stone and on my way to the next hundred thousand.
Which brings me to today I am at the dealer today, because of a switch in my car got stuck and is giving a false reading on my dash board. Although it wasn't pressing enough to rush right in the day I noticed, it was still necessary to have it taken care of in order to prevent damage to the engine in the long run.
So here I sit at the dealers with my Ipad in hand all prepared to watch movies while the Xterra is being repaired. Then I realize one thing I forgot my earplugs so that I can listen without disturbing anyone else so here I sit writing another blog.
So I hope you found this little banter informative if not amusing enough to keep you on the edge of your seats, just kidding I know I am not that witty of a person so I will end this now and say adieu
Thursday, January 31, 2013
2012: A Hope For Better Things To Come
I wanted to believe that things would be different this year, but as luck would have it started out pretty much the same. With the one definite difference, tax season has become more a hopefulness as opposed to the dreading the dismal outcome. But I guess the prospect of gain always changes ones outlook on life. Instead of anticipating how much it is going to cost me I now wait to see how much I might actually get back.
I have learned to start to put it all behind me, but there are still those moments where the pain still seeps in and draws the tears out. They are coming fewer and fewer occurrences of that but still sometimes it comes on with the slightest remembrance from a movie or song. It is funny how things can spring a world of thoughts that you have keep pinned up inside but I have learned to keep the sadness down to the minimum. Now I don't whether I should feel guilty for not mourning enough. I hurt that he is gone but I also know that I can't just stop living although in the beginning that is pretty much all I want to do in my own way.
Well there I go again drifting off because it is just so easy to do so. Life was a little easier to handle this year but it was all in the matter of taking it slow and holding on to the love that I have for daughter to pick me up when I was sad and needed a happy thought to boost me back up. The year was my first time I have 4 vacations at my disposal but unfortunately 2 of them were wasted when I ended up being sick during both of them and almost back to back during the month of March the rest was great but would of rather have spent it in a more enjoyable fashion I mean not that I really ever go anywhere for my vacations but being sick for the majority of the time off is no fun at all.
As for the rest of the first half of the year I had a chance to purchase the new Ipad in which I ended up giving my daughter the older model which she has really enjoyed as I have noticed of her lately and of course this on top of the Kindles that I ended up getting for both her and her mom. As for me I did the robot thing I got up and went to work and then came home and vegetated in front of the boob tube and zone out until going to bed for the the night.
For the most part the rest of the year went by without too much excitement I mean aside from the time spent with my daughter it was just another year extremely hot during the summer and then some as the heat wave didn't know when to quit. Finally we were reprieved by a little rain storm that lasted a couple of days was miserable to drive through but all in all I was grateful to be cooling off just a little. Even thought I am not much of a fan of rain I guess it has it's purpose here to help water things and help clean the air every so often and that is good.
What can I say about the last quarter of the year except it was cooler although we were still having some really high temperatures for this time of year. September and October flew by so fast I couldn't believe it but you would never know it with they way stores are always preparing for the next holiday so we went from getting ready for back to school season then jumped right into Halloween, and then you blink and pop here comes the turkey trimmings. But come on Turkey day was still weeks away and guess what Christmas decorations are being sprawled all over the place. They just don't miss a beat do they.
December started with a little bit of issue down on the docks, cause due to a walk-out by one of our fellow locals I ended up taking my planned last vacation but this was intended to begin the following week but because of the strike I ended going on it earlier and for a longer stay then intended so I had a nice 11 day off vacation just before Christmas. This had a two fold issue I got the rest I needed but it also cause a unwanted cash strain for the next few weeks which kind of put a bummer on the season for me. Cause even if I don't really participate I do at least like to give money out to the grand kids, that is honorary grand kids. So it was another non-Christmas, Christmas for me.
So as the year wound down I have to say thank you to my daughter again because it became a contest of sorts to see how many Christmas movies we could watch this season a lot of them we had seen before plus a whole slew of new ones that came out this year. It was a great ending to another quick year so now I sit here waiting to see what they new year brings.
Oh and one last thought who knew that the Mayans were going to run out of writing space on that wheel and the whole world was already for appending doom. Who knew ?
I have learned to start to put it all behind me, but there are still those moments where the pain still seeps in and draws the tears out. They are coming fewer and fewer occurrences of that but still sometimes it comes on with the slightest remembrance from a movie or song. It is funny how things can spring a world of thoughts that you have keep pinned up inside but I have learned to keep the sadness down to the minimum. Now I don't whether I should feel guilty for not mourning enough. I hurt that he is gone but I also know that I can't just stop living although in the beginning that is pretty much all I want to do in my own way.
Well there I go again drifting off because it is just so easy to do so. Life was a little easier to handle this year but it was all in the matter of taking it slow and holding on to the love that I have for daughter to pick me up when I was sad and needed a happy thought to boost me back up. The year was my first time I have 4 vacations at my disposal but unfortunately 2 of them were wasted when I ended up being sick during both of them and almost back to back during the month of March the rest was great but would of rather have spent it in a more enjoyable fashion I mean not that I really ever go anywhere for my vacations but being sick for the majority of the time off is no fun at all.
As for the rest of the first half of the year I had a chance to purchase the new Ipad in which I ended up giving my daughter the older model which she has really enjoyed as I have noticed of her lately and of course this on top of the Kindles that I ended up getting for both her and her mom. As for me I did the robot thing I got up and went to work and then came home and vegetated in front of the boob tube and zone out until going to bed for the the night.
For the most part the rest of the year went by without too much excitement I mean aside from the time spent with my daughter it was just another year extremely hot during the summer and then some as the heat wave didn't know when to quit. Finally we were reprieved by a little rain storm that lasted a couple of days was miserable to drive through but all in all I was grateful to be cooling off just a little. Even thought I am not much of a fan of rain I guess it has it's purpose here to help water things and help clean the air every so often and that is good.
What can I say about the last quarter of the year except it was cooler although we were still having some really high temperatures for this time of year. September and October flew by so fast I couldn't believe it but you would never know it with they way stores are always preparing for the next holiday so we went from getting ready for back to school season then jumped right into Halloween, and then you blink and pop here comes the turkey trimmings. But come on Turkey day was still weeks away and guess what Christmas decorations are being sprawled all over the place. They just don't miss a beat do they.
December started with a little bit of issue down on the docks, cause due to a walk-out by one of our fellow locals I ended up taking my planned last vacation but this was intended to begin the following week but because of the strike I ended going on it earlier and for a longer stay then intended so I had a nice 11 day off vacation just before Christmas. This had a two fold issue I got the rest I needed but it also cause a unwanted cash strain for the next few weeks which kind of put a bummer on the season for me. Cause even if I don't really participate I do at least like to give money out to the grand kids, that is honorary grand kids. So it was another non-Christmas, Christmas for me.
So as the year wound down I have to say thank you to my daughter again because it became a contest of sorts to see how many Christmas movies we could watch this season a lot of them we had seen before plus a whole slew of new ones that came out this year. It was a great ending to another quick year so now I sit here waiting to see what they new year brings.
Oh and one last thought who knew that the Mayans were going to run out of writing space on that wheel and the whole world was already for appending doom. Who knew ?
It Was Just A Blur
I don't know where all the time went these past couple of years. My previous blog that was to catch up the year of 2010 was written the beginning of 2012 and dated for January of 2011. Well that catching up process was going to continue but for whatever reason I just seemed to lose track of time of the whole mess until it was just a blur in my mind with the days just melding into to one another.
So I like to say that all has been well since my son past away in 2009 but unfortunately it has been far from that and although. I have been able to put a good front in regards to the loss of him so as to not have the constant sympathy pats on the back or shoulder. But all in all I think I am doing pretty good on the outside but inside I have to live with the thought was there anything I could of done to prevent this from happening. I guess I will never truly know but I do wish that I could hear my son's voice just one more time to let me doing he is truly in a better place and not suffering more then he did here.
I find this kind of odd that all these years I have had my computer at home and all the time in the world to write another blog and here I am at work typing my second one it this week while I am on my break, which means this is definitely going to improve my typing ability on this keypad I bought for my Ipad. Time I usually spent watching tv or playing games or even a little web searching and of course those pop appearances on FB well anyway I should get back to my blog before the notion of writing a blog becomes a blur.
So as I said earlier 2011 went by rather quickly in a blur of motions and partly in a fog as if I was there but not really there enjoying time spent with my daughter cause that has become my new favorite thing to do spending time with her cause I have already lost one I would hate to lose another for whatever reason it would happen especially without the chance to spend all the time possible with the one last thing that means the world to me. She is special in all her various ways and as I have said in the past, she brightens up my day and going a day without hearing her voice for a brief chat. I will never share the kind of bond that she has with her mom , nor will she ever share what I had with my son but what we have together is something really special that I wouldn't ever give up.
There I go again trailing off into other directions can't seem to keep my mind on the same discussion. Anyway the year went by as it always does. The beginning of the year use to be a time of grateful of my vacation check but at the same time dreading the possibility having to pay more in taxes then I have put away for, and hoping to have enough left to be able to get my kids things for their birthday. So when I actually had enough to get them the things I was grateful maybe not as much as they were but for the most part it has always been more about spending time together then anything else.
The rest of the year went by pretty uneventful flying by as the first part it did. My birthday came and went just like any other day. As I watch it all go by in just one big blur all I can do is look forward to the weekends, well Sunday really when I have my weekly get together with my lovely daughter. I keep thinking someday the pain inside will slowly go away, but it is getting easier to make it through the day without pretending to be happy.
I remember the holiday season approaching knowing that since losing my mom this has always been the toughest part of the year to get through. I guess the adding strain of Josh no longer being around to bring what little Christmas spirit into the house it has become a cold dark place again and even though I bury myself in Christmas movies I still am unable to have the holiday spirit at all. Well this year has finally came to and end and I have all of 2012 to look forward to in hopes that it will be a better year for me. Wishing all the best and trying to believe it will.
So I like to say that all has been well since my son past away in 2009 but unfortunately it has been far from that and although. I have been able to put a good front in regards to the loss of him so as to not have the constant sympathy pats on the back or shoulder. But all in all I think I am doing pretty good on the outside but inside I have to live with the thought was there anything I could of done to prevent this from happening. I guess I will never truly know but I do wish that I could hear my son's voice just one more time to let me doing he is truly in a better place and not suffering more then he did here.
I find this kind of odd that all these years I have had my computer at home and all the time in the world to write another blog and here I am at work typing my second one it this week while I am on my break, which means this is definitely going to improve my typing ability on this keypad I bought for my Ipad. Time I usually spent watching tv or playing games or even a little web searching and of course those pop appearances on FB well anyway I should get back to my blog before the notion of writing a blog becomes a blur.
So as I said earlier 2011 went by rather quickly in a blur of motions and partly in a fog as if I was there but not really there enjoying time spent with my daughter cause that has become my new favorite thing to do spending time with her cause I have already lost one I would hate to lose another for whatever reason it would happen especially without the chance to spend all the time possible with the one last thing that means the world to me. She is special in all her various ways and as I have said in the past, she brightens up my day and going a day without hearing her voice for a brief chat. I will never share the kind of bond that she has with her mom , nor will she ever share what I had with my son but what we have together is something really special that I wouldn't ever give up.
There I go again trailing off into other directions can't seem to keep my mind on the same discussion. Anyway the year went by as it always does. The beginning of the year use to be a time of grateful of my vacation check but at the same time dreading the possibility having to pay more in taxes then I have put away for, and hoping to have enough left to be able to get my kids things for their birthday. So when I actually had enough to get them the things I was grateful maybe not as much as they were but for the most part it has always been more about spending time together then anything else.
The rest of the year went by pretty uneventful flying by as the first part it did. My birthday came and went just like any other day. As I watch it all go by in just one big blur all I can do is look forward to the weekends, well Sunday really when I have my weekly get together with my lovely daughter. I keep thinking someday the pain inside will slowly go away, but it is getting easier to make it through the day without pretending to be happy.
I remember the holiday season approaching knowing that since losing my mom this has always been the toughest part of the year to get through. I guess the adding strain of Josh no longer being around to bring what little Christmas spirit into the house it has become a cold dark place again and even though I bury myself in Christmas movies I still am unable to have the holiday spirit at all. Well this year has finally came to and end and I have all of 2012 to look forward to in hopes that it will be a better year for me. Wishing all the best and trying to believe it will.
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